Sexual Assault Message Board

I have multiple instances of experiences I want to know are sexual assault or not…

When I was around 14 my older sibling (18 at the time) touched me while playing a game… mostly groped or things like that but it never got bad

When I was at prom a bunch of boys kept making comments at me and putting their arms around me

When I went on a date with someone they started to neck kiss me and I froze and they put their hand on my thigh but I didn’t say anything afterwards…

My husband and I have been together for just over 3 years we have two kids together (our oldest, 2, was born out of wedlock). The abuse at first was very minuscule seeing as we live with his parents for the first 2 years of us being together. At first it was just manipulation, he would manipulate the circumstance to best suit himself even if that meant contradicting himself. And if I called him out on it he would just say that I was crazy and that he never said that. For the longest time I couldn’t see what he was doing. He was slowly building thing up to the point where I started questioning my own sanity. Even simple things like events that never took place or even whole conversations that happened, he would try to convince me they hadn’t. At the time I was very heavily influenced by the way that I was raised. That being that the woman is to submit to the man and the man is in charge of everything and anything and everything the man wanted, he was supposed to get. Whether I wanted that or whether it was wrong or not. That leaves a lot of lead way for the man to do whatever the fuck he wants. He then started to use that against me whenever he wanted sex but I didn’t. This happened quite a lot. He frequently tried to make me feel bad and guilty when I said I didn’t want to. He would tell me that it’s my responsibility as a wife to give him what he wants. Because I had given my body to him and that I belonged to him so if he wanted sex then he should have it. He would make me feel so guilty and bad half the time that I complied. And when I didn’t comply he would blame me for his actions.

About two weeks ago now, we got into an argument about the house is never cleaned and that I’m lazy and a fucking slob and how nothing ever stay cleaned (we have two children age 2 and 7 months in a tiny house. No shit) and how I don’t do my job (btw I’m a stay at home mom). He told me me everything better be cleaned by the time he got home or else. I said, or else what? He said or else I’m going to tie you up and take you to Alabama where I can beat your ass (we live in Florida). I was in total disbelief and didn’t really know what to say. I wouldn’t put it passed him at this point. I try to act as if what he said hadn’t shaken me and tell him he will do no such thing. He then goes into our bedroom and proceeds to take our laundry basket full of clean, folded clothes, and starts throwing them all over the room, he knocks down a couple of things that are on the dresser while he’s throwing clothes everywhere and then throws the basket on the floor. He walks out and tells me I better have this shit cleaned up before he gets back home. I broke down in tears after he left.

[Shortened for length]

My ex beat me and threatened to kill me. He took my kids while we were still married and I left to work to get away from him. We got divorced, then he took me to court for full custody of my children. We are still battling court. He choked my oldest daughter, and beat my oldest son. That happened in a different state, while I was off working, so the police wont help me. I need to press charges, but I’m scared I’m too late. He has them and noone will help me because we were in a different state when the abuse happened. I have a video of him hitting me and yelling at me while he was drunk, in front of my kids. It’s been almost 4 years since I’ve held them in my arms. I hate him. What can I do? How can I fight him back in court? What do I do with the video? How do I get help!? 

 My youngest daughter was conceived of rape, after he dragged me to his basement and beat me. He wouldnt even let me soothe my infant son! This was back in 2016. I dont have footage of that. Je kept it up for years, and when I fled to OK, he followed me. I lost contact with family and friends. He threatened to kill my mom and my baby siblings. He threatened to kill me and my kids. Hes now trying to use the kids to force me to play his games. What can I do? I just want my freedom! I just want and need someone to hear me! Is this a lost cause? Is there any hope? Is there a God? 

I’ve dated this guy for 4 years. 
I’ve woke up several times to him having sex with me while I’m asleep. I wake up and tell him to stop. He doesn’t stop. I feel violated. 
He says he didn’t rape me. So i can’t report it. Is this rape? 

How can I get my roommate to stop abusing me under the influence of heroin as these men sexually assault her while she is high and they all have physically assaulted me and wont leave bc of warrants 

I can I stop the sexual assault of my roommate while under the influence of heroin and the domestic violence and the abuse I endure daily bc if it. She wont leave the house because of her warrants please help 

I was molested several times by a supposed “friend” over the past few years, and now I go through phases of being disgusted by sex and having sexual fantasies of being raped and killed. Is this a response to trauma? 

I woke up to my boyfriend having pulled my panta down groping my butt and plesuring himself at the same time. Before I was asleep when he tried to grab me the same I had pushed him away telling him no. After I woke I pushed him away, crying and went home. Him and I are both 16. Is this not a big deal? What should I do? Was I just over reacting? Should I just forgive him and stay with him? Why do I feel like I am the one in the wrong in this situation? 

My guy woke me up early in the morning wanting sex. I was tired so I told him to leave me alone and go back to sleep. Next thing I know he pulled my panties off, put his penis in me. I told him to stop but he kept going until he had an orgasm. 

A long term friendship is falling apart because I feel undervalued. As I was trying to work through this I had a horrible realization and I don’t know what to make of it. Early on in our friendship, we went on a trip together she paid for, and at the hotel that night she made a joke about what people do in hotels, so I figured she was saying–like so many men have said to me in my past–that now I was supposed to pay. So I got really drunk and had sex with her. 

In the years in between we’ve had sex I was happy about, though that’s also years ago. I’m queer though was fairly inexperienced with women when I first met my friend. But now I’m kind of horrified: so, that first time….it kind of makes my stomach hurt to think of it. And I know I told her later I wasn’t a lesbian and I knew it was a half truth–I’m not a lesbian but I am pansexual– but it seemed better than saying I just didn’t want a relationship with her. I’ve regretted that lie for years and she’s been mean to me when I was involved with other women, throwing that back at me. This all sounds bad but honestly, we’ve had years of just being dear friends and I thought I’d gotten past that rough beginning, but now I’m feeling sick thinking….was that a kind of coercion? Was I assaulted? (I’ve been raped….several times, once pretty violently, by men, so when it’s “just” coercion, it never felt the same to me and now I’m wondering how I could have been so dumb not to see this). I’m feeling really bad and confused about all of this, and can’t ask anyone I know because I don’t want anyone to know who this is or how stupid I’ve been.) 

I went over to a friends house to hangout and we had a few drinks with other friends from work. Then later on i went outside to smoke and managed to meet a guy who lived by my friend. Im not sure if they know him

I remember i drove my truck over to go check out his classic mustang and i had plans to leave after that and he poured me a shot of jager and next thing i know lights out. 

I wasnt drunk, just nearly buzzed.. 

I woke up to my friend at the house he told me he only knew i was there because of my car outside the house. 

When i woke up because this guys brother woke me up i had to put my shirt and pants on and i was in this guys bed.. On the way out this guy was cowering and trying to avoid me as i left. I just felt very awkward as i am not gay. 

My friend was telling me how they had called the police and hospitals because they had no idea where i was at and they were worried

I have these flashbacks of what happened. Kind of like a out of body experience but super fuzzy…

I dont know what i should do or say or how 

It was the middle of the night when then I was later fully awoken realizing that I was giving my boyfriend a handjob. This has happened a few times in the past where he would take my hand and I would already start to be jerking him off but I wasn’t fully awake to realize what was going on until sometime later. 

I have mentioned to him that he can’t wake me up in the middle of the night on a weekday but I told him it was okay for him to do so and only if I was being reciprocated. I didn’t think it was fair for him to be taking advantage of me while I was asleep and I wasn’t getting anything in return when I fully realize what was happening.

So then I woke up realizing that he was trying to get me to give him a hand job and he wanted me to do more to him which I refused. At that point I realized I was awake. Hoping that I was going to be reciprocated soon but he ended up finishing and that was the end of that. I regretted not stopping sooner and I felt like I was being used.  

Feeling uncomfortable I couldn’t go back to sleep. So I decided to talk to him about how I felt though he was apparently too tired to talk to me about it. He did say sorry but I didn’t think sorry was a good enough apology from what he has done to me. 

Is what has happened considered assault in any way? I need to know if what I’m doing is right or wrong or of we’re both in the wrong? 

my adult daughter told me that my husband raped her when she was young. My husband swears it is not true. 

My daughter does create stories that are untrue or only partially true. The details about the rape have changed as she tells me about it. She does tell me I say things I never said. I am not sure what to do. I feel she may have some psychological problems. I am not sure who to believe and it is destroying our family relationships. 

How to block people from calling my personal safety drone and asking for sex without my permission ? Its extremely important that i have a person to call when its an emergency to refuse calls on the drone because it can black you out

When I was 11, I gave oral sex to a 17 year old. It left me in a very bad mental state and only this year am I almost over it. Was it rape? Was I even old enough to understand what I was doing? I hurt myself thinking that I was disgusting for being persuaded into doing something so dirty. I didn’t know the years of pain that it would bring.

So my friend was a victim of sexual assault close to a year ago. We recently went for
vacation to the beach and she had a breakdown one day because a man was following her while on the beach which I guess triggered memories from the assault?

This confused me because she would wear very short shorts (up to her butt cheek) and tops that revealed her bra when going out. Mind you, there’s absolutely no problem with that but it’s like she was purposely dressing to attract male attention. Well any attention at that.

We would also go to clubs and one night I noticed that when she saw me get approached by a guy to dance she immediately took a guy to dance with her. Then she told us (while laughing and shouting) that the guy tried to finger her. I was very confused how she didn’t get triggered by all that, but got a mental breakdown when that man from the beach started following her. She was also telling me at the club how a guy tried to grab her and tell her to grind with him but the story seemed very far fetched and made up.

I truly think that she makes up or exaggerates these stories to make herself feel like she’s being desired and getting male attention when she’s not. She especially does this when she sees that I’m getting attention and she isn’t and it just seems like she has to make up stuff to feel better about herself and make things be about her.

Does my friend have issues with self esteem and male attention? Or am I being too hard on her?

My abusive ex-boyfriend/ex-best friend I just finally stood up to and said goodbye, but I’m scared he will. He has a sealed record for assault on someone and carries both a CCL and a gun plus I know he has old pictures of me and messages of mine that I do have a reasonable expectation of privacy regarding by law. I stayed friends with him after we broke up though I never realized how he was abusing me, and it got worse when I met someone. After I got married to that someone else, it worsened even more. Again I was oblivious to all of this, but I’m not now. Sometimes he would force himself on me sexually prior to our break up and he did physically assault me at least once that I can remember that wasn’t sexual in nature. What do I do? There are laws against spreading things with a reasonable expectation of privacy and against what some could be deemed non-consensual imagery. I’ve issued him a warning not to contact myself or my loved ones nor dare to harm or attempt to harm any of us in any manner otherwise I will pursue legal justice. Do I wait and him potentially wreak havoc on my life? Also how do I get out of this depression it’s spurred and how do I stop trying to find things through way of viewing social media and more? I’m absolutely devastated right now along with angry and scared. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want him back in my life. How do I stop fearing, ensure we’re protected, and truly move on from this?

i overdosed on pills to commit suicide and i went to my boyfriend for help and i passed out. i awoke to him sexually assaulting me. can i press charges? It happened over a year ago but I have text messages where he admits it.

I met up with a guy I knew from college last night for late night drinks. He asked if he could crash at my place because it was nearby and he was too drunk to drive. I let him. He made a fuss about sleeping on the couch so I let him sleep in my bed and put up a pillow wall and told him not to touch me.

I woke up in the middle of the night to him inside me. I was paralyzed about what to do.. he finished thrusting and then pulled back up my pants and went to sleep.

I was exhausted and passed back out. He left in the morning and said goodbye as if everything was normal.

I didn’t say anything. Or do anything. Does that mean I’m ok with it? I don’t know how to feel or what to do.

I have an ex I wanna report I don’t want him to know and he’s very scary I’m 17 n he’s 46 what do I do I need help I messaged the hotline they are not accepting any messages I guess and I need help I wanna put him where he belongs back to prison. I had a rough situation he said if I work for him he’ll give me alot of money he’ll buy me things but then I got involved with him like love and he had me living with him every other day cause I didn’t live there permanently he would hit me when he thought I was staring at a guy he’ll hurt me until he’ll get my phone from me he made problems he would make fake accounts and say I did this and that and I didn’t . I wanna report him help

I have an ex who was sexually and physically and financially abusive. He grew up in gangs and has a family member in the dmv to track down people who don’t pay. I know hes had dropped assult charges. And I’m scared because he threatened my family when I left. He wouldn’t have to lift a finger even in jail. I’m not sure what to do because i would never be able to have an apartment job or car or get married and him not knowing and possibly hurting me. What am I supposed to know if I only know the guys nickname.

I’m not sure if this is considered sexual assault but I still would like some advice. I am female, and my best friend (also female) is married. We’ve been friends for years (8) years. We drink and hang out, there were a few times when we were drinking that she comes on to me. I push her away and tell her no, she’s married and I don’t want that. She’s done it a few times. We sober up and all is forgotten. There were a few times that I drank and passed out. I was not aware that we had “sex” until a few days later when I remembered…. I asked her a few days later about and she said it was nothing. Is this just shame on my part? Is it considered sexual assault? Should I confront her about this? I haven’t had contact with her since this incident but it’s weighing heavy on me. I’ve told her time and time again that I did not want to have a relationship like that. But we were friends for so long that I just put the bad parts in the back of my mind. (Edited for length)

My 16 year old daughter recently confess that she was sexually assaulted in one of the party that she attended 1 year ago. Should I share it to my husband even if my daughter said shes not ready yet. What is the best thing i can do to help my daughter.

My so called step father has sexually harassed me for years since my childhood. Due to the abuse, I developed a horrible and shameful addiction to porn. I’ve battled with stopping this nightmare for 4 years, and after about 1 month of abstinence, the demons kept coming back and I found myself googling porn again. But as I was in the act, my mother had caught my “step father” peeping through a view in my window outside. He saw everything, and likely enjoyed it for only God knows how long.. now I’m horrified, ashamed, disgusted with both myself for allowing this to happen, for setting my own trap, and with this monster who still tries to abuse me from the shadows. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to turn. I don’t know who to hate more, myself or the monster who ruined my childhood and continues to torment me to this day. I just want to know what to do at this point

Is it healthy to have a close relationship (talk everyday) with my older brother now that we are adults, even though he molested me and my younger sister?

We were sat in public with people all around us, he was a big guy in middle 50s a friend of the people i was with, not particunice but ok we were messing around pushing for space on the seat.. till he then starting reaching for my underwear I told not to but he carried on sliding his hand down, I grabbed his face trying to get off me.. [edited for content]… I started elbowing him in the gut to get off coz it hurt, he wouldn’t get off so I got up and pushed him down by the neck to try and get him off the next thing I know he’s got half of my hair in his fist and I’m being pushed into the sofa corner by my hair.. when other people then stepped in. We were intoxicated but I wouldn’t say drunk.. Is this sexual assault? Is it my fault? Do I need to report it? Did I make the situation worse? I don’t know what to do..

I have been with my husband for 16 years. For at least 10 of the years he has repeatedly tried, and succeeded, to have sex with me while I am asleep. Over the years I think I have become used to it and that is why I dont fully wake up enough to verbally tell him to stop. In my head, I am saying stop over and over. In my head I am saying to leave me alone. Sometimes it hurts when he is trying to get his fingers or penis inside me and I’ll just keep saying stop in my head and that I just want to sleep. I do move away from him, slam my arms down etc in aggravation. I’ll pull the covers more tightly around me, try to pull my pants or undies back up, roll away from him… a lot of actions that would indicate that I am not interested in his actions towards me and that I am in distress or aggravated etc.,.. actions that should let him know that I am not wanting this interaction from him. Throughout all of this, I am sort of ‘in and out of it’ but never fully awake. I will remember bits and pieces in the morning or I’ll remember being so upset in my sleep, I’ll remember how it hurt and how I kept saying STOP over and over in my head…[edited for content]…It is confusing because sometimes when he is touching me on my back, it feels good, but then it is apparent that this is just a manipulation to get the end result of sexual satisfaction for himself. In my sleep I dont have the ability to fight back. I never wake up enough. I think I have been conditioned and basically groomed over the years and that’s why I don’t wake up. I have a lot of questions about all of this. It’s so hurtful and confusing and most of all it is scary because I dont know what this means about him. Is this rape? Sexual assault? Is he a predator? Should i worry about anything else?

I was married for 30 years and had 2 children. During the marriage, I caught my husband sexually assaulting me while I slept. The first time we had borrowed a video recorder and he immediately wanted to tape us having sex. I told him no, under no circumstances, I wouldn’t want it to ever get into the wrong hands, and I didn’t ever want to see him use it for anything like that…[edited for content] The thing is, HE is the one I’m worried about! What do I do???? I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my daughter and grandchildren, but I would never forgive myself if I found out he abused them. HELP!

Best friend of 38 years. Has an abusive arsonist husband. she enables him to be nasty to her. I stay at her house during the day I’m on disability. Run errands for her when I can and her husband comes home. Annoys me 25 years. Talks about her behind her back. Gropes me cars to sexually assault me. Answers for hand jobs and blow jobs. Which does not happen any of it on my end I get very upset she knows about this. And tells me to ignore him. How does this even happened ignore him.? Beginning fights me and her about it she tells me to ignore and don’t waste your time. He actually jerks off I Leave the Room. She says he likes me. And just wishes he had me sometimes. Which is all a bunch of bullshit. He treats her like complete shit. And tried to treat me that way. I have nowhere to be doing the daytime since I’m not working anymore I had a stroke. And I live in a room which is not a place I want to be doing the daytime so I don’t know what to do anymore I’m in a very bad place she don’t think it’s abuse to me or to her anyone have any advice thank you so much.

When I was younger I was alone with my best friend (we were 8) and a bunch of teen age boys. At a summer camp. All the adults were asleep and the one who was supposed to be watching us was asleep. We were playing truth and dare one of the (creepy) teenage boys dared me to sit on his lap. I did not knowing any better at such a young age, and he dared be 2 more times to do and I did it. He did the same with my friend. Was this sexual assault? Or was he just playing?

I told my mum about how my 2 guy friends sexually assaulted me. She ended up speaking with their parents. Right now, I feel bad for affecting families that I cared for.
And my mother is super protective and won’t let me be out past 12am. I need space to think and breath, but it’s like I can’t be let go by anyone and I must stay frozen in this moment. I just need to know if I did the right thing.

There’s a child predator trying to exploit my 15 year old son, I also have 2 daughters; 9 years old and 2 years old. This person has hacked into mobile network and internet and is exploiting children to hack internet as well, he has stalked my home and their grandfather’s home. I also believe he works at Eisenhower Health Center Rancho Mirage, CA. How can I keep someone on my mobile phone and Wi-Fi so they can catch him?

I began getting sexually abused around age four. It only lasted a short while at first but I lived many years of also physical and severe emotional abuse too. By the time I was a teenager I was regularly being terrorized and sexually assaulted, not normal stuff, in the control of certain adults. I was sexually exploited and just did what I was told to do. What I did to deal with the hurt was sometimes imagine I was someone else. It definitely happened, only I don’t know if that is normal, but my way of dealing with the hurt was to just pretend it was someone else getting victimized. I have today a really wild imagination and struggle to deal realistically with my life. I am wondering if it is very common for survivors to just live in a fantasy world? I am wondering if that is a sensible approach since the reality is too painful?

My one female friend got extremely drunk with no knowledge or intention. We took care of her and put her to rest. However, she remembers entering her own room and laying next to one male friend who was sleeping there. He was touching her underwear areas( as she remembers). Later another male friend and I came into the room . I fell asleep on the floor as the 2 boys laid by each side and she was in the middle. I awoke twice to hear her moaning, then took the action I could to get the one guy out of the room.

She has no memory of the night, only slight snippets.

Is this a sexual assault case?

Hi, my husband is 30- something years older than I am and he has a need for control. I refuse to have a baby with him because I don’t want to have my child’s father pass away at a young age but my husband is very adamant about having a child and demands we have one now but not only do I not want children but If I did, I’m not ready for them. I’ve been very vocal about not wanting children but he still makes me pee on ovulation sticks every month and makes me have sex with him when I’m “surging”. If I don’t, he won’t give me money and he doesn’t keep any food in the house or give me money to buy groceries. My husband holds all the money and makes me ask for money as needed. He is wealthy and I come from a very poor family. I married him for financial security, he married me because he was too focused on his career to have a baby at an appropriate age so he needed a young wife that was capable of getting pregnant. Also because I am Jewish and he is as well. In the past, he has shown authority by pushing me down, blocking me from leaving, punching me and threatening to inflict pain on my cat. I’m afraid of what else he is capable of. What do I need to do? Please give me info on Nevada law against domestic violence [edited for length]. 

If a person who was sexually assaulted two or three months ago and the guy was in his fifties and the girl was 17 and still is 17 and there were two people in the room that heard it can she still report it in Iowa and the law actually do something about it?

Does it get easier as a victim of sexual abuse after the perpetrator dies?

This has been bothering me a long time. when i was 12 ( Iam a young adult now) two boys from school showed up at my house when my mom wasnt home. I told them they couldnt come in but one put his foot in the door and wouldnt let me close it . he said he really had to use the bathroom and forced his way through the door.* i need to know if this was assault even though i know i should’ve fought him harder that it was my fault for not being able to stand up for myself more. I feel a guilt for being conflicted about it being my fault. was i assaulted or was i just too young and lost it to a jerk? *[edited for length]

I remember that when I was young my brother used to make me do “things” with him and I could of stopped at any moment but I didn’t know better I was like 5 is it still consider some sort of sexual harassment

My nieces and nephews 12 of them were molested by their teenage uncle, he was 13 yrs old. The youngest of them was 4 yrs old. This crime was never reported, is was handled by the religion Jehovah Witnesses. This person raped and sodomized his victims. This happened 30 yrs ago the oldest victim was 7 yrs old . Can that person still be charged with something. Plz this is causing a division in the family. The person who did these horrible acts never had therapy or went into a place for help. He still around children as a adult man. I will not attend no family functions if he is present but there are other new family members with children who are not aware what he did when he was young. This is where the danger I think, I speak up to my family and these causes friction among the family help. One of his victims who has had years of therapy approach him told him”why did u abuse me” his answer was “it’s complicated, you don’t understand, I can’t get into” so to me he just didn’t own it. Also he coaches young boys football.

Ima guy that was raped but it don’t seem like anyone wants to help me. I tried to report it and got laughed at they didn’t even want to take my statement what can I do?

Couple years ago I went to a party and blacked out the next day I was really sore and this guy told me we had sex but I don’t remember any part of it. I’ve been telling myself the last couple of years that he didn’t rape me but I want to know the truth. If I don’t remember consenting or the sex did I get raped? I know this sounds pathetic but it’s been a question I haven’t been able to answer for years. I never planned on having sex with him before I blacked out.

About a year go I participated in group sex with a guy I was seeing and a friend of his. I did give my consent to this. However during the act the friend was too rough. I kept telling him to be gentler and pushing against him because he pushing on me too harshly. He also was laying on my chest,face, and neck which made it hard for me to say stop or that it hurt me. And then later on he was touching me down there with his hand and poking at me. I kept telling him to stop and no and that I didn’t want to anymore but he continued until I finally left. I’m not sure if this counts because I originally consented and I didn’t stop him or say anything.

Was I sexually abused by someone 2 years older than me?

I don’t know, I have always shoved it out of my head when it came back up but Ive tried to get myself to face it, but I always tell myself im wrong. I was touched a lot by my sister who was 2 years older than me and she would kiss me and touch me in the bathtub and also showed me how to masturbate, and she’d show me pictures of people having sex too and I have no idea what is was. I pushed it out of my mind for so long that i don’t even know if I’ve “forgotten” other things. Ive noticed that i don’t remember a lot of things from when i was younger and I have an intense fear of kissing and actually blacked out when i got my first kiss from a guy. How do i deal with this? and is this considered sexual abuse?

It gets better. If you are having suicidal thoughts please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

​Message board posts indicating thoughts of suicide or with detailed content are not posted for the safety of the posting person and those who read the message boards for help. 

Hi, I recently got out of a very toxic relationship and I’m confused about what to do at this point for fear that my daughter may be affected by her father later in life… My ex, and the father of my 9 month old daughter, has sexually abused me, forced me to have sexual relationship with him against my will on several occasions including during my pregnancy and after my c section… He cheated as well on numerous occasions from the time we first got together up until I finally left him. He took his sexual frustration and aggression out on me then makes claims that I get physically violent with him, punching and slapping him, but I’ve never laid a hand on anyone in my life. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father and I don’t want my daughter to have to deal with any type of abuse, especially not sexual abuse from her own flesh and blood. I have no physical evidence to back up my story, though and I have been raped before and my rapist is now behind bars… I don’t want it to seem like I’m lying but I know it will seem that way if I say it has happened a second time with a different person, especially the father of my child who I’m no longer with… I don’t want to lose my daughter but I especially have to keep her safe… What should I do?…

Sometimes in life there are no more options. I am $354 overdrawn on my checking account. My children moved out. I don’t get paid until the first of July. I am a psychological mess. I have no support. No real friends. No real family. I visited Weave for help. I was referred to two agencies. One agency only had an answering machine. The other I emailed but got no response. I’m over it. I can’t blame you folks. You can only do so much. Same with me. Thank you for trying.

I was repeatedly abused and raped when I was 14/15 years old by my friend at the time who was 15/16. It started after we had sex together, I said I didn’t want anything to happen again and didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but things got very nasty and I was very controlled by him for months on end

I’m 21 now with a fiancé and a beautiful 14 month old, however the guy always sends me threatening messages and works in my local supermarket so I constantly see him still. Over the past two days he’s been sending me strings of messages threatening to hurt me. I’m too scared to go to the police, he knows where all my family live, knows everything about me, what car I drive etc and I know either him or his step-dad will do something to me if I tell anyone.

The pictures are of past abuse that he did to me, pictures he took of us having sex, pictures of my car in different places etc. I have a lot going on at the minute and have no idea who to turn to. If I tell anyone I’m scared he’ll do something. My partner isn’t even aware of what’s happening. I suffer from quite bad anxiety so struggle to open up to people as it is and wouldn’t even know how to approach nor how to handle telling the police about what happened in the past.

Please help, I’m so scared and don’t know how to stop this from happening.

What services do you provide to victims who have been in situations of Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing? Do you have people who come out who know sign language? Do they understand Deaf culture? Or do you call out to interpreting services? 

I am writing a paper for my Deaf Studies class at Sacramento State. I am interested as a Hard of Hearing person there is already a break down in communication with that in mind a traumatic experience like domestic violence or sexual assault and deepens the issue. Many Deaf people have issues because there is not a lot of counselors or trained professionals who know ASL. Thus having to have interpreter the Deaf person loses that one on one connection with the counselor because they have to be focused on the counselor. Also, noting that if the counselor either talks to fast or uses terms that the interpreter may not understand the also weakens the communication bond. I am interested to know how your organization helps people who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing?
 

I don’t know what to call what happened to me… Back in 2008 I was a new student at a public school after attending a private catholic school all my life. It was very strange and scary. I was teased and physically hurt by the guys and isolated by everyone, they all bullied me for no reason. But the worst part was my last class, science. It was three students to a row and I got placed in the back with two other guys. One of the guys I’ll never forget had orange spiky hair and a menacing smile and he would always rub my legs reaching into my inner thighs and I kept saying no but he kept going at it, until he got what he wanted (touching my private area) . He once told me if I told anyone what he was doing he would kill me. The guy beside him laughed at me and didn’t care about what the other guy was doing. It happened daily every science class. Every time I came to school in the morning my heart dropped. I left middle of the semester because I couldn’t take it.. Is what that guy did to me, was it assault? or was he molesting me? Im scared to admit this to myself…

I stay with a I thought was a friend of mine and since I’ve been staying here and he is been asking me for sex and I don’t see him that away so he gets an attitude with me and I don’t want to have sex with him. I really need some help trying to find a place to go because Adam been threatened by this guy if I don’t have sex with him and every time he mentioned the world sex he calls me a nun.

Hi my daughter as of tomorrow has been missing for a year… I received an email today that she may have been held against her will All This Time by sex traffickers I need to be in contact with some organizations to prepare me because I don’t know what to do and what to offer her if we do find her can you please help me I don’t know what to do

I was repeatedly abused and raped when I was 14/15 years old by my friend at the time who was 15/16. It started after we had sex together, I said I didn’t want anything to happen again and didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but things got very nasty and I was very controlled by him for months on end. I’m 21 now with a fiance and a beautiful 14 month old, however the guy always sends me threatening messages and works in my local supermarket so I constantly see him still. Over the past two days he’s been sending me strings of messages threatening to hurt me. I’m too scared to go to the police, he knows where all my family live, knows everything about me, what car I drive etc and I know either him or his step-dad will do something to me if I tell anyone. The pictures are of past abuse that he did to me, pictures he took of us having sex, pictures of my car in different places etc. I have a lot going on at the minute and have no idea who to turn to. If I tell anyone I’m scared he’ll do something. My partner isn’t even aware of what’s happening. I suffer from quite bad anxiety so struggle to open up to people as it is and wouldn’t even know how to approach nor how to handle telling the police about what happened in the past.

Please help, I’m so scared and don’t know how to stop this from happening.

Is it considered sexual assault if your uncle kept asking for a kiss on the cheek and you stupidly say ok so he can leave you alone and then kisses you on the lips without your permission (the kiss lasted about 5 seconds i wanted to throw up) and then comes back for more and you keep saying no, he finally leaves you alone…it hurts because i hadn’t been kissed and he stole that from me…and now i see him everywhere at family gathering and i try so hard to fight back the tears.

I am not sure how to be friends with someone. She was a rape victim. She had many abusive boyfriends. I know she is also a sex predator. I know because she did things to me. She invited me to her house. Her family was gone. She undressed and sexted her boyfriend. Her abusive boyfriend at the time liked watching lesbian sex. She had us do things together. I’d never done with her. I look on Megan’s List sometimes. I never find anyone who looks like her. It feels very confusing. She has mental health problems. I keep saying she didn’t mean it. She was not thinking right. I keep saying I need to find it in my heart to forgive her, maybe I shouldn’t measure our friendship by that one weekend. But then I get reminded of what she did. She gave me an std. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about it. I have trouble sleeping and concentrating. She acts like what happened is what friends do. Some of my family no longer will talk to her. How do I fix everyone embarrasing me for what I did?

As a child I lived in Southern California. At the age I was I had no concept of what and wasn’t okay for people to do to me. I was molested and raped by an older man more than once and taken to his apartment where he easily could’ve kept me had he wanted to. I am 17 now and still have not worked up the nerve to tell my parents about it. I cut myself around the ankles to distract from it and ever since I told my friend about it I have been reliving everything that happened and can’t stop throwing up. I just need somebody to talk to.

A few months ago I was drinking with a guy coworker at his house. I was recovering mentally and emotionally from a failed suicide attempt the month before and at that point i was self medicating by binge drinking nearly every weekend with this guy. This particular night his uncle joined us in the drinking and both of them kept daring me to take shots and I think my one of my drinks may have been spiked. The next thing I remember is being face down and penetrated but I was too drunk to even move or stop it. I woke up the next morning completely naked in a pee soaked bed next to my coworkers uncle. When I talked to my coworker the next day in order to get information about what happened that night he told me that I had been asking for it by even drinking in the first place and that I needed to stop acting like a victim and be accountable for my own actions. Although I realize that I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk I don’t believe I was in the right state to consent to sex, especially involving this 10+ years older man who I have voiced in the past that I am not interested in. I feel so much shame and guilt around the experience and am now having flashbacks and nightmares. I have filed a police report but I waited more than a month to come forward with my experience and now I fear it is too late to get justice as I have no evidence incriminating the man and both my coworker and his uncle deny that it happened in the first place. I ended up quitting my job as going in and seeing the guy who let me be raped while unconscious in the other room began giving me severe anxiety attacks. I haven’t told anyone other than the police, my parents, and a few close friends but I am unsure if I should notify the owners of the restaurant that we both worked at, where he still is currently employed. Part of me feels like I was set up to be raped by this guy and I don’t want him to be able to do this to any other girls that he befriends. Could telling his boss even do anything? Can you be terminated for things that took place outside of work if they are bad enough? I need to find my own little piece of justice and I feel like getting him fired from the job that he used to take advantage of me would do that, but I’m unsure if coming out with my story will do anything other than embarrass me.

There was an incident with my now husband of almost 15 years that occurred before we were married that always bothered me. I guess I am trying to understand it better. What happened was that my husband had picked me up after going out for a few drinks with his cousin and we were going to drive to his house, an hour away. I’m on the cautious side, so after seeing his driving, questioned if he had drank too much and asked him to pull over. Keep in mind, I am overly neurotic about that kind of stuff.

My now husband and I argued about it until he finally did pull over on the highway at parking lot by a McDonalds. At the time, I didn’t drive much, so couldn’t take over the driving. He then proceeded to take his pants and underwear off and put his feet up on the dashboard, basically exposing himself in protest to my ‘unreasonable’ demands and took a nap.

I was in my early twenties and he was ten years older than me. It being at night, on the highway, it never really sat right with me. Is that assault or was he just being a jerk? I guess I’m trying to understand that behavior. I’m trying to understand how it fits in with some of our current marital problems.

This may sound morbid to those who don’t understand. I want to die. I have wanted to die for a long time. I actually remember first wanting to die when I was around four years old. I made my first attempt at suicide when I was seven. Last night I was watching a movie called ‘Me Before You.’ It’s the story of a young man who becomes a paraplegic. With the support of his female caretaker and parents present, he eventually commits suicide. I feel I am just as disabled as the paraplegic portrayed in the movie I watched yesterday. The only difference is my permanent injuries are inside me not visible. My life is a long painful horror story. It’s filled with sad and painful tales of unbelievable violence, rapes, and worse. I know most Americans frown upon suicide. For me suicide actually feels like a wonderful soothing thing. I have dreamed of my death many times. My death would free me from deep log-lasting suffering and pain. I lived things most humans have no idea. Every day. Every night. I have massive PTSD. Nightmares. Flashbacks. Feelings of injustice and hurt that can never be corrected. My death would be a completely better place than what I am currently living. In Switzerland, for example, they allow people to medically take one’s own life if certain conditions are met. I meet all those conditions. Do you know of any charity, foundation, group, or individual who would help support me to end my suffering? Perhaps help get me to Switzerland or another country that accepts self-euthanasia?

Why would someone feel like harming themselves when being intimate? Could it relate to being sexually assaulted?

I was kidnapped and sometimes imprisoned, also terrorized and abused for years as a child and young person. I’ve come to accept my wants and desires will never return to my previous self. It took me many years to accept myself for who I really am today. For example, I don’t like to kiss. I actually hate kissing. I hate anyone doing oral sex on me. It’s like everything is jumbled up. I don’t like having my hand held or being touched unless in ways I allow. It makes me want to run whenever anyone touches me without my permission. Things I once enjoyed and should like are gone forever. I accept who I am now. It’s not going to change. Like my PTSD it’s hard wired into my brain. Even doctors have recently told me that. How does a person come out (sort of like LGBTQ people do) to tell people what I am? I don’t want to end up hurting or misleading others like I did in my last relationship. That person left me because I wouldn’t kiss, hug, or do certain sexual things. I prefer solo masturbation to couple sex. Is there a sexual definition for what I am? Is it very common? Where do I find other people like me?

So.. i been going to physical therapy due to car accident. And i get massage there too. I had my shoulder surgery and it wasnt getting better. I had one massage doctor because my pain is going to my chest area he need to massage around that area too. I was fine with that part because at first he was just massaging upper part. Time passes by his massage area got larger. He was massaging all my breast area. Today he was massaging my stomach too and his hand went down to my private part and started to touch it. I stopped him there but i am afraid to go back to therapy and i dont know what to do. I still have six month of therapy left.

I am not sure if what happened was any form of assault but it didn’t sit right with me…. My boyfriend of 6 years and I had an argument a few days ago, things have been quite between us, then last night we went to bed without speaking to each other, I could tell he was jerking off while I was trying to sleep, I must have passed out and then a short time after I woke up to him pulling my pants down and flipping me over trying to penatrate me, I did not say anything but kept my legs closed, he flipped me into my stomach and penatrated me holding my arms down as he did, I just laid there, he has 160 pounds on me and I could not move, when I moved my arms he pushed down on them when he finished he rolled off me and I went to the bathroom, we did not speak again until this afternoon and it has not been brought up , I don’t know what to do or if I should even feel he did anything wrong.

I have been trying to work through date rape that happened over 22 years ago when I was a freshman in high school. I thought I’d worked through most of it with my counselor and started having severe body and emotional but not visual flashbacks from that night indicating more may have happened. I feel like my brain is spinning and if I ever fully remember that night I won’t survive. I think he may have done oral sex on me and it something in my anus and the shame with that feels unbearable. Are these things common in vaginal rape? Why would he do that? Is it strange to wrestle with feeling like it’s not real and if I ignore it it just didn’t happen? Is it ok to ignore it. I am thankful for my counselor but I feel like I’m walking through this alone outside of counseling and a pastor at church.

My parents and a neighbor family planned for me up to marry a girl. She is my age. She is very beautiful, with blue eyes, very white skin, and very long dark hair. Our families go back many years as close friends. At first we kissed and held hands. We usually kept it private. One day I kissed her in a department store. She told her mother. Our mothers said we shouldn’t be kissing in public. It was very confusing. People at school didn’t even know we were supposed to marry some day. She started by having us undress in her bedroom. We took baths together. In some ways it was not really anything new. But then she was a female with a beautiful body. I went madly in love with her. It drove me crazy. She was all I could think about. It unraveled. I was angry at my parents for telling me how to love. It was difficult because they had found the girl I loved. Is anything that happened illegal? I sometimes wonder if I should talk to her about things we did before we broke up. I know she still loves me. Sometimes I wonder if we should be together. Would that be wrong?

My eye doctor told me studies show people in general are more attracted to people having large pupils and certain eye colors. She said I have a double winning eye combination. It started me wondering. I was sexually abused as a child by four different men. Each acted alone, each in different circumstances. Three of them raped me, one for months, another for years. The forth man just looked, touched, and stimulated and masturbated me. Two adult rapists I used to individually visit after I was raped on my own so I am definitely mentally screwy in the head. I thanked my many year serial rapist many times for making me feel sexually good. One rapist I still see and talk to. We pretend it never happened. I let the longest lasting serial rapist do with me whatever he wanted. Even sodomize me. I bought gifts for two of them. There is no normal sensible explanation why all these men went after me. I had to be signaling each of them somehow. I had a part in many ways. I read how the CDC reports rape victims are more than twice as likely to be raped again. Is there any research or information you know that shows how victims unknowingly contribute to their rapes? I keep thinking of all the encouragements and enticements I unknowingly gave them.

I was sexually assaulted. It went for years. I find now I get trouble sexually feeling myself. I can’t climax lately. I get thinking of what happened. Today I was trying to climax. I was struggling. It should have happened. It built up. At the last moment my body was climaxing but without any pleasure sensation whatsoever. It was like things happened physically but the pleasure receptors didn’t respond. That’s been happening lately. My body is shut off. It’s lame being a sexual abuse victim. Now this too. I never heard of this before. Is it common in your experience?

My wife her twin sister and myself had a few to many drinks over the weekend, I fell asleep downstairs, I woke up with my sister in law giving me a hug, I gave her one back and fell asleep. I eventually fell back asleep; when I woke later she was back again this time giving me oral sex. Honestly as I awoke I was enjoying it but as I came to my senses I pushed her off me again, at which point she said it was me that had played with her first, is this assault? She came around last night when I was alone and basically threatened to tell people what we/she had done and told me to stop being a soft lad and sleep with her when she wants [edited for content].

I’m so scared. My best friend and her husband moved across street. My husband works at night. My friends husband came into my room last night while I was asleep and pulled just my bottoms off licked me in my privates. Before he licked me he actually stuffed my panties in my mouth. I was afraid my girls would wake up so I didn’t even scream…What should I do and why would this man do this. What pleasure could licking me give him?

Hi, this is related way back to my childhood.. when I was I believe 5 or 6 years old. My older cousin used to take me in a room alone and grind behind me with his pants still on and without taking any of my clothes off. Is this still considered a sexual assault although it was without my consent, yet he didn’t take anybody’s clothes off or his own?!

The other night I was cuddling with this guy that I had met a couple of times before. We were both pretty drunk and I just wanted to cuddle for warmth. For a lot of the night he was just holding me tight and kissing my neck and my back which actually felt nice, and I even turned around and gave him a quick kiss. As the night went on though, as I was trying to sleep, I felt him dry humping me, but I was so tired and didn’t say anything. Later, while I was half asleep I felt his actual penis on me and humping me (no penetration). I was so confused and uncomfortable but I was also tired and did not say a word. The weird part is even though I felt uncomfortable I just ended up kissing him more and just kept cuddling. He did attempt to put slip his hands down my pants and insert his penis, but I just kept moving his hand away, and eventually he got the idea I guess. I feel so confused and uncomfortable because I was kind of actually into this guy before, but now I can’t forget about this. I don’t want to say that he sexually assaulted me because the truth is that I didn’t actually say no or anything and may have given him mixed signals. I just can’t help imagine what would have happened if I did speak up and say no, and I wonder if he would’ve actually stopped. I feel guilty and angry at myself. I am also confused about the type of person that he is.

How do You leave weave?

Additional comments:

Why Is the location provided on the question boards?

Hi Weave, I wrote recently very angry. Sorry I took it out on you when I know you are trying to help. Sorry I pester you. I know you are having to deal with people who beat up or even kill their partners and spouses, rape their own kids. I know you have your own battles to fight. I just have problems. I use this site as a sounding board sometimes. Please don’t post this. I’m just wanting to vent. It just never works speaking to people who don’t believe what I lived. I just have problems talking to people. I am too messed up. I called a suicide line a day before yesterday. I was asking questions. The lady said she couldn’t answer my questions, tell me who to ask, or help me. Like what’s the point of calling? I’ve been really thinking darkness lately. My problem is my younger daughter is disabled. I have been riding my bike everywhere I can. Last night for dinner we had pancakes because I am almost out of food. I am holding off eating so my children have food. Today is another fast day for me. I have no choice. At least it’s keeping me skinny. The many miles of cycling is making people think I am in great shape. If only they knew. Yesterday people from a church I once belonged stopped by. They are a cult. I am so mixed up I talked to them. A normal person would have said leave me the fuck alone. Now I am seriously debating about just going to their church again because I have to figure out something. Something is better than nothing. I am at a point I really will sleep with the enemy. Give blow jobs for five dollars. Do about anything. I don’t have resources like most people [edited for length].

Boyfriend made me have sex after he beat me up

Additional comments:

Four months ago my boyfriend of 2.5 years beat me up and then wanted to make up by having sex, I didn’t want to and he forced me… I feel too sad remembering it and don’t get in the mood anymore I feel like prefer not having sex and just want to stay in bed all day, I’m very depressed and lost interest in doing things anymore.

I am afraid of telling my therapist any more about my sexual assaults and other violence I experienced because they put what I reported in my medical records. Can I tell the therapist to keep it private and not tell anyone else and not put in my records? It wasn’t information where I was a danger to myself or others. Is there any way for people in California to have information in my medical records removed if I don’t want it mentioned? I regret now I ever went to a therapist and told them. I don’t want to have the noose of having been a sexual abuse victim to be used against me later, or to lose a job opportunity, or possibly be used by an insurance company to disqualify me later. 

I’ll explain my situation first, so I went to my coworkers house, we’ve been sleeping with each other for months as he’s been blackmailing me with pictures he has & also texts that he’s threatening to send to my ex who I want to try & fix the relationship with. That break up was a messy one in itself & I had to get out quick as things turned violent so this other guy from work offered to let me stay with him which I did before I found myself my own place only a few weeks later. Things were intense very quickly & he’s never liked it when I’ve told him how I feel & that I can’t keep doing this as it’s killing me inside, he always makes out it’ll be the last time & he’ll be gone for good but says he loves me & how good we’d be if I ever gave us a real chance. Anyway, I went to his the other night & before I went I was enraged, we always argue obviously as neither of us are getting what we want, I felt bad & said fine I will stay with you tonight but I AM NOT doing anything even slightly sexual at all! We got back we had a few drinks, I broke down in tears for a lot of the evening telling him how horrific & depressed he’s been making me & I thought he’d listened. Anyway I’m epileptic & in certain situations where I get stressed I can have a seizure, this happened & it took a while for my mind to register what was happening, I started whimpering as the whole thing was just confusing as I still hadn’t properly come round, he continued when he could hear i was upset but when I finally asked him when he was on top from behind what he was doing, it was at that point he carried on but asked if I was ok. This is where I’m confused because he’s told me I said yes to a bit of ‘play time’ even though I don’t remember saying it or him asking in the first place.. 
He’s since apologised but said it was a misunderstanding and not rape, that it’s awful I could think he was capable of that. He keeps wanting to see me again to have ‘a nice day & night’ with him this weekend as he said yet again it would be the final time & he’ll leave me alone but I don’t think I want to be near him. I made it even more confusing though by giving into sex with him the morning after what happened as I just didn’t want to fight about it & thought it’d be easier. I just feel mentally drained & confused.. 
Was it rape or am I just overreacting? [edited for content].

Okay so my roommate told me this– a guy she hung out with a couple times texted her to hang out at like 1am. She was drunk and told him she was sleepy and he responded saying that he was down to cuddle. She says okay and doesn’t respond to him when he sends her a text through snap. He shows up at the house and our roommate let him in and he walked upstairs surprising her. She was fine with it though and they went to bed in her room. She said that they were kissing and he was feeling her up with some dry hump and he casually tried to slip his hand down her pants. She told him no and rolled away saying she was sleepy. He asked her to come back to her which she did and he does the same thing. She tells him no again kind of laughing it off. It happens a couple more times. She had to physically remove his hand from her pants. At one point he tells her to lower her voice because she was saying no too loudly. She kind of felt uncomfortable but did really think about it (she was still kind of drunk– he was also drunk). He said it was too hot to sleep in her room and left. She says okay and walks him out and even kisses him bye. She then went up to the room and realized what happened was actually scary and she felt uncomfortable through it and started sobbing that’s when I heard her and she told me what happened. Would you consider this sexual assault or just an uncomfortable situation where both people were drunk? (edited for content). 

Two years ago my mom was drunk and was taking off her skirt and dancing, hours later I was sitting on the couch and she was next to me and I remember her telling me to get her something and she put her hand on my private area and I got up to get her something and I felt her acrylic nail slide and touch me down there through my shorts. Her hand slid slowly and I’m not sure if she touched me there in a kind of sexual way because she did it slowly and I think her hand only slid because I got up. My mom was drunk so I know she doesn’t remember and it happened in like 5 seconds. That whole night she was acting crazy, and embarrassing dancing in her underwear in front of my whole family. I’m just here to ask if this is considered sexual assault. It happened two years ago on thanksgiving. My mom has never touched my in that type of way when she is sober, but every time I think about it, I remember the feeling of her acrylic nail touching my down there through my shorts, and it makes me shrivel up and feel uncomfortable. And I don’t really like when people touch me and my mom and brother call me dramatic but it just gets annoying, I don’t know if that has anything to do with it, but I’m just unsure if this is assault or not. Thanks

Hello. I don’t really know how to put this. I am currently on holiday with my boyfriend of 3 years. Anyway last night we both got pretty drunk. We came up to the room and I fell straight to sleep. Next thing I know he is fingering me and performing oral sex on me. I couldn’t wake myself up enough to say stop but knew exactly what he was doing. He kept kissing me but obviously I didn’t kiss back. I don’t know what to do about this as he has never done anything like this before.

Almost four years ago, I was dating this guy, we were seniors in high school. Anyway, he was my second sexually partner and the second time we had sex I handed him a condom to use. Consenting to sex with a condom. We proceeded to have sex- but it felt different. After he came inside me I said wait why weren’t you using the condom. He had hid it under my pillow. He told me it didn’t matter because I was on the pill or whatever. I was really paused but eventually just let it blow over. However in the past year all this stuff has come out about stleathing(removing condoms during sex) they say it’s a form of sexual assault. Does what happened me count as stealthing? Was I sexually assaulted? Should I say something- it feels to late now?

I was wondering is this qualifies as sexual assault. I was sleeping at my friends house on her couch downstairs and woke up to her roommate standing above me naked with his penis touching my head. I just acted like i was sleeping and he ran upstairs. Not sure whether to report this because there’s no proof or evidence.

My EX was raped by someone she knew. She confided in me and told me everything. She doesn’t understand that it wasn’t her fault. She says because she was drinking, it was her fault. She told me that she remembers pushing someone off of her but she didn’t have the strength. I feel horrible about this. How do I go about consoling her? Also, it makes me sad beyond no end. I feel it was partly my fault because of the whole Ex thing and she said she drank too much because she was sad. Just want to add a few things about myself because I’m a mess due to this. I am very protective of Women. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am having a huge problem with this. It pisses me off to no end because I know who the guy is and where he lives. Do you have anything for me to talk me out of this. I know its wrong and I won’t act. But I can’t get it out of my mind at all. I just don’t understand at all why these types of people exist in this world. I know this guy won’t be convicted because it’s been too long and there isn’t any evidence to support my Ex’s claim. She probably lied to me when she told me that she was going to go to the police just to calm me down.

I was in a 7 year relationship with a man who began as an emotional and verbal abuser. Mostly, at the beginning there were good times, but he was always controlling about how I dressed, how much I drank, hanging out with my friends while he would go out anytime he pleased. Needless to say, for the first few years things were up and down and led to me drinking to just escape him. He is also an alcoholic. The first time he raped/sodmized me was after a night out. In the morning he said I had been bad and ridiculous and acting like a whore and he raped me. After that, every time I was bad, I was raped. He was also addicted to porn and started wanting to do things I did not want to do but I did for fear of him not loving me. After we bought a house together after 5 years of our relationship, I caught him sodomizing himself in the shower with an object and then found out this was something he had done to himself for years. I think he believed that since his secret was out that now he could make me do whatever horrible things sexually he wanted to do to me. He injured me and continued to belittle me, call me names, and control everything. I finally left after finding his emails to other women on dating sites. I have been living a sober and loving life with a blessing of a man for the past 3 years. I am involved in AA and I go to my regular psychologist, however, I really feel like I need to talk to people that understand these crazy feelings I still get and the flash backs out of nowhere and my inability to trust or treat my boyfriend like he deserves because I still feel broken. Also, I have terrible feelings of guilt because I did not press charges or tell anyone in my exes family so that he could maybe get help. I am truly concerned that another woman wil e subjected to what I was. I truly appreciate any advice/guidance.

I live close to my brother who IS a pedophile who had sex with his own daughter. I know that, he knows that, his daughters know that, and every other family member knows that, even though he plead guilty to a lesser offense and only spent 10 years on the sex offenders list. Now his youngest daughter who he drugged and raped and had 2 boys by (she doesn’t know about that) also has 2 young girls (10 and 12) and she routinely brings them to his house for sleep-overs, swims, etc. My problem is, I’m not willing to be the one who has him locked up for life, but I cringe every time I think of what’s going on at his house, and his daughter is there at least 4 or 5 days a week with her young girls and her 2 boys who are actually her boys AND her half-brothers. What can I do to stop what is happening without being the “Judas” in the family and sending my brother to jail for the rest of his life?

My BFF confessed to me that he assaulted his first girlfriend while she was asleep.And, we’re having a crush on each other. Should I be scared of him even with his claims of going through an asexual phase?

 [EDITED POST] In the 1970’s I was repeatedly assaulted by a law/ enforcement officer. I believe he is connected to other crimes. Does Weave know of any way I can be assured to collect reward money? This man has made my life miserable and I have contemplated suicide.

This family I know lives in this historic gold mining town. Their mother is my mom’s best friend. I’ve known this family since I was a baby. In summers, weekends, and school holidays my mom regularly had me stay with them. Because I am the same age as two of her sons we three would go play basketball or explore in the woods. We’d fish or put on our riding gear and helmets and race our off road motorcycles and mountain bikes. We would go to the theater, walk around town, play in the parks, or do something. Because the three of us grew up together we often saw each other naked. We started skinnydipping as early as I can remember. Our parents and people would take all of us children to a river or lake and said take off your clothes and jump in. When I got older the brothers and I would often on hot days go skinnydip and sunbathe nude by ourselves. This one time when I was 16 we three were at this local river. The brothers took their clothes off and went swimming. I stayed on the shore to suntan with this other girl I met. This girl acted unusual. She was constantly trying to position, rub, touch, oil, and kiss me. We did some kissing and more personal things. I think it was a trick for her or others to film or photograph us naked having sex. I finally realized it when she kept moving her three daypacks because they probably had cameras and sound recorders in them. Another time I was tanning and had this uncomfortable feeling like I was being watched. I put my swim shorts on. When the boys returned they thought they’d be funny. One grabbed my hands and the other pulled off my swim pants. Being forced to be naked I really lost it. I cried really emotionally. The brothers apologized and handed me back my swim shorts. I’ve noticed in the past couple of weeks with the warming weather I’ve been really emotional and traumatized feeling. I think it has to do with knowing that soon hot summer days will be here when I often skinnydipped and sunbathed nude. There was this time I was at the river when these older guys went up to this teenage girl my age. They pulled off her bikini top and tried to pull off her bottoms. A group fight almost started because some other boys told the guys to give back her top and leave her alone. Guys were cheering to see her assaulted. Another time I was at this other swim place. There were a lot of teenagers smoking tobacco, marijuana, and drinking alcohol. There was this really pretty girl my age swimming. Some boys said she couldn’t swim there unless she was naked. She ignored the boys and kept swimming. Three boys dived in to the water to undress her. Luckily she swam to the other side and climbed out before they got her. When I was young skinnydipping and sunbathing nude seemed so easygoing, natural, and innocent. Now I feel worried and terrified about it. There are perverts and rapists and people with drones and cameras. Places we went before now have people hiding in the woods waiting with telephoto lens cameras to take pictures. It’s just not safe anymore to risk taking off clothes outside. I’ve experienced it. People will even undress or try to undress you. I remember many times on the river when men and even some women would offer me free alcohol and drugs so they could basically get a chance to take nude pictures or rape me. It’s very scary. Why any teen or other person would even risk taking even a drink of liquor or a hit on a pipe is beyond me anymore. I’m feeling really terrified. I know this summer innocent teens will end up raped and hurt trying to swim and sunbathe naked like I once foolishly did. What should I do to ease my anxiety? I feel like teens don’t know like I do because I never read, see, or hear anything about this public nudity violence and abuse that happens. I didn’t even sleep all night because I’m worrying about it.

I cannot afford to move away from the abuse where he cannot find me. Are there temporary rentals until I save up enough money to move into and where I want to go?

My 6 year old son was raped by my nephew a year ago. I did file a report with the police department, took him to the child advocacy center, and social services was involved from the start. My problem is, I have heard nothing since June of 2016. The rap happened in May of 2016. I am a single mother of 3 kids and on ssi due to an illness i was born with. I want to know what i should do to find out what is going on with the case?

I go to a group for my domestic violence I have been threw and I gentleman does to he said he was beat up by a lady for my first time he came to visit me and out of the blue he wants me to massage him and get closer to his private parts then hugs me and says I am beautiful and have soft hands.What is this a sign of?

I’ve been dealing with many types of abuse. Starting at 7 I was molested by my biological mother by her boyfriend she so desperately needed. I need someone who has knowledge to help with the positive feeling I need.

Why me. I think I’m cursed with abuse of many kinds.

One of my roommate friends is a big believer in what she calls ‘healing arts.’ She is into things like massage, aromatherapy, candles, and other things. It sometimes feels to me like a mystical imaginary belief system my friend and her friends follow. They believe in stones and gems that release energy and reading peoples energy levels. To me I don’t really know what it is all about. All I know is I worry if she is getting tricked by some people. She was telling how she sometimes goes to these sessions where she takes off all her clothes. She gets under a sheet and she lets different men masturbate her in these certain ways. They have to follow certain rules to do it. Sometimes the men wear gloves to demonstrate there is not a skin to skin contact with her, like that makes any difference. It all sounds so strange to me. She got in with this other group of people who I would call just having sex orgies basically. She gets all offended when I call it that, saying it is ‘mutual understanding’ and finding ‘insightfulness.’ I tell her I think it sounds to me like a bunch of balogna. She is just getting basically screwed and used I think but she feels it helps her find serenity and understanding of the universe. How do I help my friend? She is like she is sucked into her beliefs so strongly she is just doing really dangerous and disturbing things. A few nights ago I saw the television was on in our family room but in the darkness didn’t see anyone in there. I went to turn it off. I found she was on the carpet in our living room, totally naked, masturbating, with headphones on. I have seen enough females so it wasn’t that. But I unplugged her headphones and she opened her eyes. I asked her what the hell she thought she was doing that sort of thing on our living room floor. She was like I was just about to cum and how dare I intrude upon her when she was timing the orgasm to a tape to she was listening too. Should I just write this person off as just a nut or do you think she needs help from Weave? How do people help someone like her?

What do I do when I am supposed to marry someone in 11 days and I woke up but kept my eyes closed and he was messing with me.

I was sexually assaulted in my sleep by my ex-boyfriend. This happened months ago, last summer specifically. I got textual evidence of him admitting to assaulting me while I slept. I wrote my own police report and took my evidence to the police, which was enough to get him convicted. However, he was under the age of 17 when the crime took place, so nothing serious happened for him besides perpetrator rehabilitation. Throughout the whole summer and first semester of my senior year, I dealt with the police and cold, cruel school administrators. The perpetrator also attends my high school and I had to fight for my right to not see him in the halls. I changed the school policies so that school policies prioritize creating the safest, most supportive educational environment for victims. Instead of the school administration, passively allowing the perpetrators to roam and continue to victimize innocent survivors. However, despite not seeing him on my safety routes, I see his friends who stare at me and the building has numerous triggers from old memories which divert to trauma from the assault, police, just basically the whole mess of things. I’ve changed so much for numerous victims yet continue to feel so alone, helpless, and isolated.  Every time I go to bed it’s traumatic. I have wicked nightmares and flashbacks triggered by many things. I am seeing counselors; learned how to play three new instruments (pretty well); I write about it in poetry, screenplays, and songs; taking college courses; dance; draw and paint; got a new challenging internship; gardening; teaching; etc. I’m coping as best as I can after all that has happened, but I feel trapped at my high school… I feel like I’m a sad burden to my family, friends, and loved ones, because I can’t get past this. BUT I’m really trying.

Is this why I can’t get over what happened, is it because I’m still attending that school? Is it normal to be haunted by flashbacks for this long? Will it ever go away? It’s two months away from the disturbing one-year anniversary of when this all began?

Is it normal for my boyfriend filming while I’m passed out on pills and then saying you wanna know what would get a guy in prison if this wasn’t his girlfriend, and then he started pulling my shirt down exposing my boobs and then masturbating and rubbing his penis on my face. Is that normal? I kinda thought it was weird cuz I was hard core passed out and couldn’t be woken up

I am feeling terrible what I let happen to my daughter. I thought this could never happen to my child. I was a child care provider for five years. I was trained to look for all the warning signs. There was a neighbor girl who is five years older than our daughter. We had no idea she was a child molester. This neighbor girl preyed upon our daughter for many years. We let our daughter stay overnight and even entire weekends at her house on numerous occasions. We unknowingly handed our daughter over to her to be abused right under our noses. We just didn’t know. Not only that, we permitted this abuser’s family to take our daughter on trips to Disneyland and other places, on ship cruises, on weekend getaways, and even vacation trips outside the United States. I feel awful I used to encourage my daughter to go take trips with this family. There were many times I’d find my daughter playing alone and encourage her to go play with this girl. My daughter has always been academically advanced so I thought they were a great fit. Had I only known…. What makes the situation a bit of a challenge is I didn’t know about my daughter’s abuse until my daughter became an adult. My daughter is very smart. She, like many very intelligent children, was wise at also knowing how to hide her victimization very well for so long. I knew something wasn’t right only when our daughter suddenly stopped all contact with this other girl. I could tell by the way my daughter became angry whenever I mentioned her abuser’s name there was possible abuse. My daughter was on edge and angry, unlike her usual happy disposition. In time she was cracking. I could just drive past her abuser’s house and my daughter would get upset. It was simple math for me finally to tell this was something more than a normal friendship gone wrong. My daughter went to counseling. She received medical care and was put on medication for depression. We even moved so she didn’t have to feel trapped into being so close to her offender’s family. What I find especially sad is because my daughter is now an adult, she has to be the one now to come forward to press charges. California laws are just not up to the times, just like children under the age of 18 are still permitted to marry child predators in California given the appropriate consent. I think my daughter is holding back from pressing charges because she still feels some loyalty to her abuser. I am proud she did write a letter to her abuser and told her abuser to never contact her ever again or she would go to the police. Some progress is being made. But does WEAVE ever think of holding group support meetings for survivors? I know you provide individual counseling. But having my daughter hear from other survivors in a group setting is the empowerment I believe my daughter really needs to hear.

So I’ve posted things on here before about what happened to me but is my relationship with the family member who assaulted me supposed to be just back to normal like nothing happened is that ok or am I supposed feel a certain way about him

I worry if my mind is getting schizophrenia. Today I had these really vivid disturbing memories and images of some painful and terrifying experiences I had when I was sexually abused as a teen. It was very very disturbing. I cannot describe it as actually watching the experiences like an outside observer, but my mind was replaying them to me through my own eyes and body again. It was like I was back in my body back as a teen and feeling and experiencing exactly like I felt when it happened back then. It was so strange. I felt the terror and it felt to me like my brain was overwhelmed and I was not sure what to do. I was just freezing up like my mind was watching a movie of things I had been forced to do. It wasn’t like suppressed memories because I do remember going through the stuff. I had to get up and walk around a lot. I did a lot of writing to just get my mind into another place. Is this normal or do I need to go see a doctor? I think I might be going crazy from the evil stuff I experienced.

If my Ex husband put his hand down my panties, without my consent, more than once, while I was on heavy sedatives to keep the night terrors away, that he caused in our marriage (he is supposed to be moving out) and I kept telling him no, is that considered sexual assault? He has a DV charge from hitting me and is on parole and is on a no hostile contact order.

His mom said “I will not address this” and won’t even talk to him about it. I have no one to talk to. He has isolated me from everyone.

If you’re passed out drunk, with your pants around your knees, and another female takes pictures of that and shows other people, is it sexual assault?

I was drugged and raped by my oldest brother when I was 20.5 and he was 28. About 15 years after, I yelled it to his wife two days after an argument with him. My family cared more about how he felt over my bringing it out than they did for me for his abuse. He had a high position for the State. 39 years later, a life of pain struggle and addiction. How do I explain PTSD and retraumatization to an older sister who is close to him. It is affecting she and I getting together to talk. It’s been 39 years. I cut my wrist 4 months after, he was never held accountable, or would admit to it. I have been emotional, addicted since it happened HELP ME! I am 61 now. Been a hard life. I have nothing and no one. Going to be homeless in 3 weeks.

I’m 16 to soon be 17. I’ve been in ballet since three. Ballet is much of my life. I also practice technique, lyrical, jazz and tap and hip hop. I want to be a professional dancer. My current GPA is 3.82. I’m enrolled this semester in two honors and two AP classes. I have secrets. I was four. We lived in another state. My parents put me in military base day care. A man came in sometimes. We would be sleeping. He would touch me and have sex with me. I never told anyone. Telling my parents or sister or friends would only make them sad. I want them to be happy for me. I have other secrets. I’m 5′9″. I weigh 113 pounds. Sometimes I starve myself or eat little. I try not to get too thin. I have also plucked every hair I have on my body except my head and eyebrows. I hate body hair except those two places on me. I read I do it because it makes me feel in control. I sometimes borrow my sisters car license. She doesn’t know. I used her ID to get tattoos. I have three tattoos so far. One is a small tree on the back of my neck. It represents life and nature. I have a body message to me on my torso. ‘Never Surrender your Dreams.’ The third is a big dancing dragon that wraps up and across my right breast. I love them all especially my big dragon. I got my navel, nipples, hood, and one inner labia pierced. Getting inked and pierced makes me feel I am someone special. It makes me feel no one can stop me. I do it for me. Sometimes when I am alone or lonely I watch and read XXX. Seeing and reading XXX makes me know I am a sexual, sensuous person. I am not alone and shouldn’t feel ashamed. What age do you think I should ever tell my parents or someone my secrets?

If I was passed out and my boyfriend put 5 cigarette butts and two dimes in my vagina, is that sexual assault?? I am very angry about this.

Married man stuck hand down my pants.

I have worked with this guy for 5 months and tonight we were the last ones to leave. We were clocking out and asked to see my “abs” because I had joked earlier about not working out a lot. It was dark inside the building and at that point I knew he had bad intentions. I said no a numerous times and tried to walk away and he grabbed my hand. I still managed to walk out the door 10 minutes later after pointing out he was married.

I walked fast to my car. He walked behind. For about 20 min I was trying to get into my car and he kept asking to touch me. I said no, but he was blocking my car door and there were brushes in front of my car. I got in the bushes a few times and went around my car. I made it around to my driver’s side again, but at one point he just wouldn’t take no for an answer, so with my hand on my door handle, he was able to stick his hand down my pants for about 15 seconds.

I don’t know why I didn’t yell. I guess I had considered him a friend and was in shock that he would cheat on his wife. He kept saying there was something between us. I grew up around a lot of guys and speak ‘like a guy a lot of the time’, so I am blaming myself for giving him the wrong impression. I feel horrible. If I was married, I would be broken if my husband did that to me so I never want to be the other woman. I never thought I would be in this position. My conscious is weighing heavy tonight. Did I do anything wrong short of screaming and punching him in the face?

I’ve Been my with my boyfriend for 8 months now and on new years Eve I got really drunk and he was laying me down and I would come in and out of sleep well when I first woke up he was touching me and I moved him I woke up again and he was masturbating on my face and I moved away because it freaked me out and I didn’t want him doing that than I starting throwing up and when I grabbed for him to help me up he had sex with me I didn’t want him too but I was so drunk I couldn’t force him off. I don’t know If it’s considered rape but I’ve felt so uncomfortable since and it bothers me a lot and makes me want to cry?

I can’t really get into this in a big way… My fiancee’ is 35 years older and has cancer and cirrhosis, and hasn’t been able to have sex for several years.. so a friend of mine started moving in.. It was kind at first, but then he started asking about tying up and thing and one time when he tied me up he strangled me until i nearly passed out. He cried..I forgave him.. so be it.. Tonight, he tried to kiss me, but I resisted and he started to strangle me again. He said “I’m Sorry, I never wanted to hurt somebody or anything like that… I just want to see my hands around your throat”. I played it off and asked him to leave.. Is he sick or am I just exaggerating a weird fetish of his???

My 14 year old daughter was sitting next to a male peer during a school assembly and throughout the assembly he repeatedly caressed her thigh and hand. She “froze” and turned away from him, but felt unable to speak up and get him to stop. Is this sexual harassment, sexual assault or sexual abuse? How do I proceed, considering he is a minor?

My dad squeezes my thighs a lot and squeezes my butt, does that mean he is sexually abusing me?

What is it called when a man grabs your hand and places it on his junk?Even if there was clothes on, I feel violated. But I was wrong too because I was joking around with him. Is it my fault for egging him on?

I was abused when I was 13 years old by my moms boyfriend and when it took me 3 years to tell my mother. She kicked him out but he came back, the sexual abused stoped but he kept on calling me names such as hoe, slut and would stay outside my room. He’s a cocían addict and it scares me to go out in the night. Knowing his there. Now I am 19 years old and he is still here. Every night is the same. Today I almost stabbed him with a knife because he came so close to me. I don’t know what to do because somehow, he always come back.

The other day at work I went out to smoke a cigarette. A new coworker followed me outside. He was Hispanic, and doesn’t speak great English. He came close to me and began rubbing his hands together. He said, I will keep you warm. I assumed he was just being polite and I extended my hand towards his hand. He proceeded to stick his hand underneath my shirt and touch the top of my breast. I froze, I was totally shocked. like a deer in headlights. I backed away. He then proceeded to come towards me again. I said, no I’m warm enough, but he did it again. There was definite squeezing this time. I still didn’t react as I think i should have. Perhaps a slap or a kick. I just was so stunned. I did tell a manager what happened and she gave him a verbal warning. This incident continues to bother me greatly. Am I overreacting?? Also, I told my husband what happened, and he became angry with me. He said he couldn’t understand how I could let something like that happen. How I could just freeze. Am I to blame??

My step dad used to call me sexy all the time when I was a child, he touched me in weird places, it felt wrong when I was 20 he thought I was asleep and he started rubbing my vagina, I quickly woke up and told him not to touch me, he played it off like he was just rubbing, there’s a lot more, is there anything I can do? I live in Ohio Hello, I am now 34, my step dad has always made inappropriate comments when I was a child calling me “sexy touch me in weird places, when I was 20 he thought I was passed out ,i fought him trying to rub my vagina before I woke up, I told my mom but she took his side(i guess cuz he made the money) I live in Ohio, is there anything I can do? At least let him know he is being looked at,this has bothered me my whole life, I know it has something to do with my personal life, not being able to keep a boyfriend, this man I called dad did some serious physiological problems, can you help?

I’ve been seeing to an older man, I’m 20. Because of the age gap, we’ve gone to more private places, hotels/his home, etc.. He’s been really sweet, I was interested in a relationship as was he, he has helped me financially for a while. Last time I saw him, he brought my favorite wine and after a bit, started touching me and forcing himself onto me. I asked him to stop and tried to push him off. But he kept going until he finished.. I’ve been in pain for days, im scared if i go to authorities he will somehow put the blame on me, what do i do?

I come from bedroom into living room where I seen my child laying down w/ his head basically over my husband’s crotch. My husband had one leg propped up on couch and the other on floor. Now I would never ever think my husband would sexual assault my child in any way shape or form, but being a victim of sexual abuse myself during my childhood and already at this current time feeling depressed and upset due to some current marriage struggles when I walked into the room and seen; I immediately reacted simply saying” what are you doing?” My husband then said, “nothing, what do you mean what am I doing?!” I then said, “our child’s head is laying in your crotch region, your leg is propped up and it just doesn’t look right to me!” Well I was then called disgusting and pathetic and then was told to leave him alone, that he didn’t want to look at me or hear me and that he had nothing for me and our marriage was over!I in questioning my husband what didn’t appear to look right to me was not meant by any means to harm, accuse, or be taken in a manner where my husband felt blamed for doing something he wasn’t nor would ever do! My intentions were not at all to cause him anger and hatred towards myself nor to jeopardize my marriage! I simply asked a question and gave explanation and reason as to y I asked the question.My question to you all was I in the wrong for even asking my husband the question to begin with based off what I walked into a room seeing an issue that didn’t look right in my eyes? Do I deserve the anger, hostility, hatred and divorce presented from him?I love my husband and don’t think he would ever harm our child! I don’t want to lose my marriage or my family! I honestly didn’t think before I questioned him if there would be consequences for the worse as an outcome from him to me, nor thought about it causing him to be rubbed the wrong way, hurt or angry w/ me! To me it just instantly was natural to feel rubbed the wrong way when I walked in seeing that and to speak up n immediately ask based of my past for one, but also bcoz of being a mom, n being a normal human-being! Please help ! Thanks so much.

I have some questions. I will remain anonymous by just saying I have a stepbrother who is my same age and we are in the same grade in high school. Back in June or summer we were talking about sex. He was telling me how he never saw a female clitoris except in pictures. He asked me about how clitorises get like excited. I tried to explain but he said it was confusing. It takes too long to explain but we washed our hands and I let him see and touch my genitals. I sort of showed him female parts. I let him see and touch my clitoris, labias and things. I let him put his fingers in me so he could feel my vagina walls and where girls pee. We used a flashlight and one of my cosmetic mirrors to touch and look at my cervix. I showed him I masturbate a little so he could see how a clitoris looks when it get excited but not that long. Then we looked at my stepbrothers reproductive parts. He showed me his penis and scrotum. He let me feel his erect penis and explained where it feels good to touch. He also let me feel his testicles. He showed me how he masturbates and he ejaculated and I was able to see cum shoot and touch and smell cum. It was sort of like a science lesson for each of us. The next night he asked if he could feel what a female breast feels like. At first I let him honk me. Later we took off our shirts and we experimented sucking on each others nipples to feel what that is like. Each time we sort of tried new things like giving each other massages. After a while one time I was sucking on his penis and he cummed in my mouth we stopped doing anything for probably six weeks but about two weeks ago I was at a Rite Aid and bought some condoms. We later were at home alone and I lit some candles and we took a bubble bath together. I was super excited and I let him put his penis in me. After that night I’ve been feeling bad having sex with my stepbrother. On the scale of right wrong do you think what we have done is wrong if we are just experimenting?

It was four days after my boyfriend and I had broken up, I was with a friend to get comfort. I was laying in bed with my friend and I did take off my jeans to sleep in just panties and my t-shirt. I didn’t think anything of it, I’ve been like that around other friends before. I laid back down and I was trying to go back to sleep when he started to touch my over my panties and I didn’t move or do anything. I got scared and didn’t know what to do. Then he touched me under the panties and I still didn’t say anything, I wanted to tell him to stop, but my throat felt like it was closing up. He then penetrated me with his fingers and that went on for a little while, it hurt a lot but I thought he would stop soon. He didn’t seem like he was stopping so I got myself to tell him I needed a break. He stopped for maybe a minute before he started to do that again. I was shaken by that, I hadn’t told him that he could do that again and I just didn’t know what to do. I wanted it to be over with. I did ask if he was going to go all the way. I thought that if he was I wanted him to go ahead and do it because I didn’t want him to touch me anymore. He did say if I wanted to. But, he was touching me while asking and I was afraid to say no. I thought if I told him no that he would just keep touching me with his fingers or that he would ignore me. So, I did say okay. He then got up and got a condom then pulled me around on the bed in a bunch of different positions. I was uncomfortable, but I didn’t know what he would do if I told him to stop, so I just let him do what he wanted. I have only told one other person that the reason I said okay was because I was scared on what would happen if I didn’t. She told me it was sexual assault; but I’m not sure. I mean I did eventually say okay to it. I know that I had tried to stop him earlier in it and he didn’t, so I thought my attempt would be ignored again. But, I just I don’t know what that was. Was it assault? Or was it not? I’m just really confused.

I do OA work (copy papers, errands,) for a firm my mom once worked at. (I’m 18 first job.) Last week I went to L.A. to help at a conference. At the hotel I set my suitcase by some shuttle vans. When I came back my suitcase was gone. A 23 yo paralegal who I work with loaned me some clothes and shoes. The second night she invited me to see L.A. This L.A. lawyer she knew had a new Mercedes. He took us to Beverly Hills and Santa Monica. We walked a pier and ate at a restaurant in Santa Monica. Her lawyer friend paid for dinner. I thought something was not good because after we left the restaurant and were walking back to his car he put his arms around me and my coworker but my coworker wasn’t pushing him away? We rode in his car to his house close to the ocean. He asked if we wanted something to drink. My coworker reminded him I was 18. He said I could get some soda from his refrigerator. He left to let his dog outside. I poured some pepsi but my coworker said to add rum. I shouldn’t have but I did. When he came back in he asked if we wanted to go in his Jacuzzi. My coworker said we would. I never Jacuzzi naked. We were talking and my coworker kept swimming in circles in front of us. When she swam she touched his and my arms and legs and things. She kept jumping out of the Jacuzzi to get us more drinks. I could feel the alcohol. I went into the house to use the bathroom. When I came back my coworker and him were kissing. I keep wondering why I was stupid and didn’t just stay inside his place or just put my clothes back on. I went and jumped into the Jacuzzi again. When they swam over to me I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I should have jumped out but I was too afraid? My coworker was doing everything. He just watched. I kept thinking this is not good. She had me up on the side of his Jacuzzi. I kept thinking at the time he was going to rape me but he just watched. That is what I don’t understand. He didn’t do anything but watch. It wasn’t like rape too in some ways because I had undressed myself?She never put her fingers or tongue inside but only outside my vagina. I never said to her no stop that’s enough or don’t do that? She never had me do anything to her besides kiss and tongue her mouth. When she went down my body and later went down on me I never resisted which I guess on my part would have been ok had I been a better communicator? I didn’t jump up or say I didn’t want it or why was I even letting her do this? After I finished she swam over to him and gave him a blowjob and some sex while I waited and rested. After he took us back to the hotel. It was over. I have to see my coworker tomorrow. I don’t know what to say to her. On the plane ride back to Sac she didn’t even talk about it. Now I’m feeling feelings like maybe it’s ok but shouldn’t I say to her it was wrong how she used alcohol to get to me and kind of forced me to Jacuzzi naked?

When I was 17 I work as a security guard in the guard shack at a warehouse complex. An old cop was the sergeant at the guard house and there was a little bathroom there a guy who had a roach coach who came by and threw firecracker in the bathroom under the door while I was in there. it startled me and I was angry I thought it was the old man so I grabbed him by the shirt and yelled at him. He freaked out and got pissed off at me. and he pulled a gun out of his desk he pointed at my head and start screaming at me I can’t remember what he said but he did push me down to my knees and told me to suck him. He said something like that wasn’t working and he’s pushed me onto the desk and pull down my pants and raped me the other guy just stood there and watched when he was finished he asked other guy if he wanted to climb on and he just shook his head no. That day I drove into an intersection as a truck was coming it T-boned me but I didn’t get hurt I wanted to die. It is so confusing I had been A sex toy for a scout leader for years. And it was kind of consensual. (Cut graphic content)

This morning I was getting a physical exam. I reported some very personal things about how I was badly abused as a child for years. The medical examiner talked to me for a really long long time. It was actually the afternoon when I left. He said he trained and worked at UC Davis and spent years also doing pediatric psychiatry. He said there is no way I can get over what I experienced. He said he found in his medical experience and from his training children who experienced what I survived (‘49 out of 50′) turn to drugs, alcohol, start addictive behaviors, go crazy, or live other kinds of messed up lives and or get locked up in prison, suicide, or experience other terrible things as adults. He said many times today he was surprised I was not messed up more. He must have asked me if I ever experimented with illegal drugs ten times. (Never. Not even marijuana. I don’t even use alcohol or tobacco. I’m not on any medicine either.) He said it was basically a dream or fantasy someone in my case can ‘recover’ or ‘heal’. He said the best I can expect is to be ‘treated’ and then I ‘manage’ my condition for what happened. I’m sort of like an emotional lobotomy or brain amputee I guess. It hurts and even makes me cry to realize I really am as he said ‘permanently damaged’ because of what other people did to me. Most disturbing was how he also said child victims of sexual abuse will often grow up later more often than non-abused people to become a sexual predator too. Luckily I currently have no interest whatsoever in wanting to hurt a child. (I was checking on the internet to confirm if abuse victims later become predators but I get mixed answers.) I guess that’s my biggest worry right now. Do you think my brain may change later to want to hurt children?

I was with a friend and she invited 2 boys over. i was laying in bed and one joined me. i didn’t think anything of it until he started touching my breast then soon stuck his hand down my pants. i don’t know what to consider this. i think it’s molesting because he only touched me. he did not put his penis in me at all. please, can you inform me on what this would be considered. it was not consensual but i didn’t say stop. my best friend was right next to me , that would’ve been super embarrassing

My family and my relatives know I was raped by a grownup. Its our big family secret no one talks about. I notice no one wants to touch me anymore. It’s like I’m dirty or contaminated. How do I get hugs when I am too afraid to ask? I haven’t been hugged by a family member in years.

My uncle assaulted me 3 years ago and I forgave him the morning after when he said he was sorry the day after but occasionally I have moments when I think back on it and I start crying it’s happened randomly at school and at night and it ruins my day. I look up articles about assault and it doesn’t make me feel any better. I wanna tell someone but I feel as if I’ll be re-opening something that is better left alone and then I’ll be ruining his life and no one will believe me. Why do I felt this way and how can I tell someone

My dad molested me when I was 13 I am now 26 and I have since forgiven him because i am a christian and i will leave it to god to handle, however I don’t know if I’m allowed to have contact with him or not. I mean it’s been 10 years and he’s not on probation or anything but he does have to register so I’m wondering who I would contact to see if I can have contact with my dad.

I need serious advice. I really liked someone but now I don’t know what to do. She told me she was raped by her sisters friend. Says another guy took advantage of her parked behind a store. Another guy stuck his hand down her pants. She says she woke up another time with a naked man in her bed. Another guy gave her weed and touched her breasts. What should I have said? I think she must have done something to keep getting abused. Am I right?

When I was 5 years old, the older brother of my friend who lived next door lured me to the upstairs bathroom when I went over to the house looking for my friend. I remember he shut the door behind me and made me look at his genitals. I don’t remember much else, except him telling me that if I told anyone, that I would get in trouble. I feel like he emphasized that I was bad. I never told anyone. I’m 46 now, and I know it may seem like a stupid question, but is that considered sexual abuse? I’m asking because I’ve had different issues in my life, and I’m wondering if that has impacted me more than I realized. Thank you

When I was younger my brother used to abuse me, I am getting therapy for that but I was just wondering. Does it count as rape if he only put his penis in me part of the way or doesn’t that count?

Can a teen be a sexual addict? When I was 4 (pre-K) I played hide and seek with other children. I tried to hide under my bed and for some reason the pressure of me squeezing under the bed and my legs tightening I had my first orgasm. I didn’t know what it was called but I immediately felt a feeling of incredible warmth, goodness and pleasure. I tried later to get the same feeling again under my bed but it never worked. I knew the feelings were somewhere in my body so I started experimenting and touching my self. I quickly figured it out. I called orgasm my ‘magic powers’. I thought I was the only one in the world who had this magical power. I never told anyone what I was doing. I think I became a sexual deviant. I put myself under the faucets in bathtubs and showers and orgasm super strong. I even put myself naked under sinks to feel good. My mother caught me pushing myself against the washing machine to feel good. I just cannot get enough masturbation but I didn’t know what sex was yet. This may sound perverted but nearly every morning in my life since 4 I go 1-2-3 or 4 orgasms before I start the day. Its like my morning wakeup ritual. I pee, undress, lay on my bed, make up a fantasy, and pleasure myself to orgasm. I work my schedule around my times to masturbate. I can also masturbate to orgasm standing up and sitting in chairs. I have orgasmed in sometimes just two minutes. I think my body is just sexually sensitive. but I think I am obsessed on sex. I used to masturbate everywhere when I was younger. I had my parents get me pants with pockets so at school I could touch myself. I still laugh how in 5th grade a girl sitting next to me looked over when I was climaxing. She could see me coming and had this puzzled look on her face. I didn’t know it was wrong but I’d use to put a sweater in my lap and cover myself at church and orgasm there too. At home all the time I’d sit on the couch and put a blanket over my lap and finger myself while watching television with my family and others. No one ever caught me masturbating and orgasming or said they knew what I was doing. It’s like I couldn’t get enough. Even now when I am home alone. I take off my clothes, open the curtains to my bedroom, let the sun shine on me, I fantasize, touch my body, and pleasure myself to orgasm for hours. I can go like all day enjoying myself sometimes. I was heartbroken and depressed in 7th grade when I learned what masturbation was. I actually got depressed. I think that is when orgasms started changing for me. I know this is going to sound stupid and pervie but I really get off seeing naked women in magazines like playboy and hustler. I once had my own secret collection. As I get older my sex obsession is changing. I have people my family knows who live in the mountains. When I’m there and alone I go to certain private places. I skinnydip. I lay on a blanket and sit in the sun and masturbate for sometimes an hour or two. I’m starting to worry because some of my friends realize I don’t really date. I’m even a cheerleader and I don’t really want to be with others? I think I’m obsessed with my own sex pleasure and fantasies. Am I normal or do you think I have a sex problem?

I feel ashamed and abused. A woman approached me outside my gym and said she worked for a San Francisco model agency. She said my looks and measurements were what she wanted for a sports calendar her firm was commissioned to photograph. She gave me her card with a website to visit. I checked it out and called their agency. A woman answering the phone answered all my questions and told me she would need to have me come in alone for a photo audition. Because the pay was up to $10,000 a day I was very interested. I made an appointment and had my IDs and things they said they needed me to bring. The studio was very professional. There was a woman who did my hair and applied makeup. Another woman took care of all the paperwork including a model release for me to audition. A woman and man photographer team told me to change into a bikini I brought. They took some pictures and talked me through a video interview. The woman photographer told me she needed me to remove my top. I told her I wasn’t comfortable yet going that far. The man said to stop and send me home because I was not ready to work as a professional model. The woman photographer suggested I cover my boobs with my hands to get the pictures the man needed. I took off my top but covered my breasts. It was awkward because the man photographer left but the woman kept asking me to look sexier, put my hands down to expose my body, and smile more. The man photographer returned and said the photos were not working because I just wasn’t showing enough confidence, sexiness and playfulness. The man called a very attractive woman my age in and said he wanted her to show me how he wanted me to photograph. The woman undressed to her underclothing and started posing. The man told the woman to stand behind me and pose with her covering my breasts. It was all very terrifying because I didn’t plan to go without a top. She started caressing me and holding my boobs out and I told the photographers I was feeling a bit rushed and nervous about exposing my breasts. The man said for the woman posing with me to just take off all her clothes if I was nervous being the only one in the room without a top on. I cannot even believe I did it but I got naked because of the pressures to get the calendar work. The woman had me pose with the other model in very sexual poses. The model touched me, used her tongue, and a lot more than I want to say. I told the woman photographer I was not planning to go that far but each time the woman photographer said she would cut out the most intimate images I didn’t want shown. I did much more than I ever expected. Now I regret it all. What can I do? Was I sexually assaulted?

Hello . I had baby by my highschool sweetheart i didn’t know he was father at the time. He got locked up and I found out he was my child father. He wanted to meet my son, the day he met him . he raped me now my son is 12 and he wanted visitation. Court gave it. How do I deal with the trauma seeing him for visits. I don’t want any contact but he has visitation. Help

i was sexually abused real harsh for years + now its like my brain is empty + dead. i cant remember daily stuff like where i put things or make appointments. im an empty soul. its like I dream all day and make up a new life in my head. i have no real friends. my bedroom is littered with trash + filth + i just don’t care. i wear the same clothes for sometimes 3 weeks. watch porn online + masturbate but cannot even orgasm (rarely) anymore + read romance novels to just feel something like at least someone is getting what they hoped in life + try to figure out on what I was supposed feel if i was ever in love. although i have normal ht. & wt. i am not pretty. i sometimes go 2 days without eating anything & i don’t even feel hungry. I stare at the tv for hours on my bed + just changing channels + thinking. i fall asleep get nightmares wake up + cry. last week my boss where i work was gone + I didn’t do a thing all week at work. just sat frozen. i think im just slipping out of reality. self destructing. is that normal for violence survivors? am i normal?

Last week something happened, it wasn’t violent or anything but I’m not okay with what happened and I feel violated. Thinking about it gets me really anxious in my chest.
I was out clubbing and there was a guy I was into and wanted to hook up with. We ended up going back to his hotel and having sex, I was very drunk but still consenting, I don’t know how drunk he was. He didn’t want to wear a condom but I told him we had to and he did. The sex went for so long, hours, I wanted it to be over but he kept at it. Then it ended and all was good and I passed out naked. I woke up a few times and he was fingering me and I would push him away and say no babe because I didn’t want to have sex again. Then I woke up and he was on top of me having sex with me. And I pushed him off and got up and knew I had to leave then. He thought he was too heavy and crushing me that’s why I pushed him off. He didn’t get that fucking me while I was passed out wasn’t okay. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t know him very well and thought it was best to just leave straight away. I don’t think he used a condom because he didn’t want to wear one when we were both awake. I don’t know what else he did. I feel violated. I know I fucked him earlier, and I was into that, but then it ended, and I didn’t want to fuck him again. He knew that because I pushed him away and said no. But he did anyway while I was passed out. I don’t know how to feel. Why would he do that to me when I clearly said no more, and wait until I was unconscious to do it so I couldn’t stop him. I feel disrespected and taken advantage of.

My stepsister moved in with me, my brother and my mom. She has all kinds of problems and was running away. She is 16 and my dads new wife told her to live here because my dad doesn’t want her back in their place. My stepsister is really getting on my nerves and we are fighting but not physical. Last weekend my brother had to watch us because my mom had to go out of town. My stepsister started acting crazy and disrespectful while my mom was gone. She put an adult porn movie on our computer to watch. It freaked me out. My brother left me alone with my stepsister saying it was too weird to be watching porn with me and our stepsister. My stepsister then started masturbating and saying we should be “friends.” I feel like my stepsister is totally stupid, immature, gross, and disrespectful. I don’t know if what she is doing is sexual assault, but I am sick of her. I told my mom to send her back to her mother. I also need my own bedroom before I go insane but my mom says we need to understand my stepsister was abused a lot by guys and she is acting out. My mom did tell her she was’nt to watch porn in our home. Is there a place at Weave my stepsister could live?

How much can I sue my boss for sticking his hands inside my pants and touched my vagina

Where can I talk to other incest survivors online? I’m not ready to talk in person but want someone to talk to.

I was drugged and raped while under psychiatric care at the Kaiser mental health emergency room, in Roseville CA. I had just spent 3 days trying to escape from my mentally and physically abusive boyfriend. My mom sent me to Kaiser after his arrest because I wasn’t making sense, I begged her not to leave me there over night with the men staff surrounding my room. She left me. The men threw me baby wipes to wipe down with around 2am after I asked if I could bathe? They yelled at me they degraded me and then they finally just stormed my room strapped me down, stuck needles in my legs and arms and I thought I was dying. the male nurse started undoing his pants. I knew what he was going to do. I screamed please anything but that, please don’t rape me to. The last thing I remember was the numbness crawling all the way up my body and then my lips went cold and shriveled. I woke up briefly some 6 hours later. I thought I had jus died, I barely remember seeing my mom but she said I was badly bruised and the hospital staff told her I was fighting that’s why I was strapped down. When I woke up I could feel that someone had sex with me.  next thing I know I’m dumped off at sierra vista mental hospital wearing the same dirty scrubs, with a numbness in the right side of my head just wondering why this all had just happened to me and why was mom and family doing this to me after emerging I just went through with my boyfriend. I just wanted to go home. I spent 2 days there at sierra vista, I I knew know one was going to be believe me especially in a mental hospital. So I kept my mouth shut. Then I came home and told my mom. I sat there on the side of the bath tub naked, crying to my mom. My mom said “I was very distraught that day when I went to the hospital and sometimes people imagine things after going through extreme trauma with no sleep.” So I went a few terrible night laying there in bed going over every little detail, picturing all their faces, wondering what they could have done that entire time? Wondering why me? I layed there looking for some reason as to why I actually deserved this. one day I ran to the bathroom only to find a bloody condom I’m my panties. It had been left in me from the hospital. I dropped to the floor wrapped it It in tissue and cried. I was so concerned with people thinking I was crazy again and having to go back to Kaiser for some reason I pulled it together. My moms reaction was nothing like you would think. She didn’t want to kill them or anything. She still had the nerve to tell me maybe it was from someone else previously. Insinuating I’m some sort of sex junkie. I am 25 years old, I am an athlete and a very intelligent young woman. I found out about WEAVE somehow, I need your guys help so badly. My ex was arrested for corporal abuse on a spouse. I didn’t press charges on him the officers did after seeing my x ray. I’m still staying sober through all of this and it’s extremely hard at times. I hope that my story brings a sense of comfort to someone somewhere, your not alone if this has happened to you under medical care. I hope to meet someone who shares a similar experience that wants to hold my hand and overcome it with me…

I need help. I was gang raped about 5 months ago. I’m married. I was so scared a. Could not talk to him about anything let alone that. So I kept it from him. Was so scared I didn’t call the cops. Went to the Dr. Because I thought I could be really hurt. Never told him figured he would blaim me. Well I had some counseling and I finally had the currage to tell him and he flipped. He hates me. He says I’m disgusting. He wont touch me. He says I’m a liar. He wants details I can’t even talk about right now. He’s leaving me. And he said he doesnt I is if he can stay married to me. Or not find someone new. I just wanna die. Is that normal of men? What do u do. I have NO support. And now reliving it all over being called names. I wish the would have killed me. I really do. I need help. I fell like in shock. My ptsd from before is beyond this. The e.r.gave me Xanax. Its not helping. I can just stare at the wall for hours. Realising I never slept. I forget what I’m saying and what people say in conversations. What do i do. Help

If someone at work in a higher position than u tells u they fancy u while at work and u say no and they say ok do i need to tell my manager and have they done anything wrong?

This customer who I became friends with i think sexually assaulted me. I had prior sexual relations once about two months prior. Since then he’d come up after my shift buy me drinks and when I would go to leave always keep me at my car asking for a kiss goodbye. I admit. I did kiss him. Goodbye then he’d let me leave (move out of the way of my car). It’s was just easier. All the while ibtold him I was not looking for a relationship. 
About five days ago he showed up to my work and offered to buy me a drink. I said no I had to get home to my kids. He came over with one anyways. I drank it then he badgered me to do a shot with him. So I did one then said alright I have to go. He followed me outside. I talked to him again about not wanting a relationship… I told him I was considering giving my kids dad another chance. I said I had to get going he motioned for me to give him a hug I said no I had to get going He followed me to my car. I unlocked it got in he stood in the way of my door. Proceeded to ask me for a kiss. I said no . He proceeded to ask and ask and tell me how it would help him sleep at night. I thought maybe I could bargain a kiss on the cheek. He leanes in and grabbed my head and tried to turn it to kiss him. I kept turning away. Asking him to stop. At one point his hat fell off. And I picked it up and tries to put it on his head and send him on his way. 

(This is part of why I think it’s my fault… That and being friends with him when I knew he liked me)

I noticed his hair was really soft. And I don’t know if I was trying to change the subject from kissing or what. But I told him his hair was soft. He said touch it I did quickly then trymied to put his hat on. 

He came back for another kiss. I kept saying No i kept saying stop. I kept saying please just let me go home; I kept leaning away. At one point he told me you know you want to. He did kiss me a couple times. Finally he stood up and started going on about how he couldn’t do any right. I think I said what are you talking about. Then he leaned back in and I shoved him and said step the fuck back. He did and I shit my door and drove. 

That was Friday. Sunday I filled a police report and gave them my statement. When I have the statement it was so hard to remember details and conversation . Like the hair touching I completely forgot to put that in. 

The owner found the footage. I could only watch about thirty seconds. Before I started crying and I told him I didn’t want to watch anymore. It didn’t look that bad on tape the little I saw. The owner told me he watched it and doesn’t really see that it would help anything. (Translation I’m over reacting ) and that going to trial will be hell on me .. that they’d put me through the ropes and I don’t want thag. And that he would bar the kid and keep him away from me. (Owner used to be a cop) the bar tender there that night hasn’t said it but I know she thinks I’m over reacting. She said but you’ve hung out with him you’ve been “with” him before. My own mother told me not to file a report. My brother told me he was furious with her because she told him it was my fault and that I should have known better.

The police officer spent about 45 minutes telling me to press charges. I just wanted something on record Incase it happened again or a restraining order. ( I had a one time thing with the same kid five years prior and according to him he has been waiting for me to be single again since then. I’m wondering if I mistook shy as unstable. )
And my memory of little details is so bad. I’m afraid something won’t match up and I’ll be called a liar. 

Am I over reacting is it my fault? He didn’t actually hurt me. I know everyone thinks I’m probably some sort of tease or lying or something

Edited for length: A few months ago, I started casually hooking up with one of my roommate’s friends. The first few times we hooked up were great, he was very nice and attentive and even sweet, but then he started assuming that every time he came up to visit that he would be sleeping in my room and thus getting laid, and I was uncomfortable with that, so one night I told him ‘no’ when I walked into my bedroom and he was waiting for me. We’d both been drinking (him much more than I, which was typical), but he was polite and left my room for the couch. He texted me three times the next morning asking for morning sex, but I pretended to sleep through them and didn’t respond. The next time he came over for a bonfire, and I was sick with a 102 fever, so I took a bunch of cold medicine and didn’t drink any alcohol, but sat around the fire with everyone and drank ginger ale. He drank a lot of beer and then vodka, which he had a tendency to do at our house. At one point he started giving me a foot rub, which felt good and relaxing, and he offered to give me a massage, which also sounded good because I was achey, and he clearly said, “That doesn’t mean we need to have sex.” So I agreed and we went to my bedroom, but instead of the massage he began kissing me and nuzzling. He’d also taken off all his clothes “because he always sleeps naked.” I told him no multiple times, and one point asked him, “Do you think I’m making up being sick? No.” He’d stop and I’d relax a little, but then he’d start up again. He said, “I’ll do all the work.” I tried ‘no’ a few more times, but eventually just let him have sex with me while I laid there. I didn’t tell him yes, I just stopped saying no. When he was done I rolled over and went to sleep. And then I woke up to him grabbing my breasts, then propping himself above me and getting ready to penetrate. I didn’t wake up fully, I think because of the night-time cold meds, and when I woke up enough to realize what was going on he was already pretty much done. He ejaculated inside me, no condom, and rolled off and went to sleep. I had difficulty sleeping after that and finally told him he needed to go sleep in the other room, and he stayed out on the couch the rest of the night. I avoided him most of the next morning until he left. We didn’t talk about it. I haven’t spoken to him since. I don’t know if what happened is sexual assault. I know what I would tell another woman in my position, but now that it’s ME in this position I feel like it’s my fault because I acquiesced to sex the first time that night, and I didn’t do anything to stop him the second time. I feel like if I were confront him about it, he would tell me I’d given consent and I’m just overreacting. My roommate is annoyed with him for not dating me, since she wants us to be a couple so badly, but I feel like I can’t tell her what he did because she has a tendency to victim-blame, calling girls who get drunk and raped “sluts” and other derogatory names. The only person I’ve told is a colleague, who asked if the guy (they’d met at one of our bonfires) was my roommate’s or my boyfriend, and it just came out, I told him the bulk of what happened, and the look my colleague gave me was very sad and took me by surprise. I began to realize that what happened was really not okay, not just that I was uncomfortable with it. But I’m still battling this strong denial and I can’t help but feel that it is my fault, that I’m overreacting, and I can’t tell my roommate or confront the guy. I’m afraid to ask my roommate to not invite him to anymore of our gatherings because they’re such good friends. Was I assaulted?

I’m male. Is there any program WEAVE has to help male victims or do I have to sit with a bunch of girls/women? I was 14 when it started with a man.

I was asleep on a couch when a guy came up to the side of the couch, kneeling and began to touch me, really gently. First it was my face, then down my body, to my feet. I had been asleep, but woke up when the touching began, but pretended to still be asleep as he did because I was afraid and didn’t know what else to do. He then put his hand over my crotch. His hands were over my pants still. This is when I “woke up” from my pretend sleep and said what the hell? He threw himself to the floor and laid down completely still and quietly, I rolled over and pretended to go back to sleep. He went down to the basement, so I ran upstairs quickly to tell my sister. Was this sexual assault? What do I call it? I know his touches were gentle, but they were unwanted and really creepy. I felt very uncomfortable and did not want any of it to occur. This was over a year ago and it still bothers me.

This is kind of complicated… My fiance and I have been together for 3 years. During which time she has been completely faithful. With the exception of this year. We hit a rough patch and weren’t spending almost any time together, to the point where we almost felt like roommates who kiss, make love, or occasionally sleep next to each other. Rather recently (a month ago) we moved past it and rekindled our flame even stronger than it was before. But she confessed to making out with and fondling a male coworker who gave her rides home when she told me she was with a female friend. She had some pretty vulgar sexual conversations online with 2 other men, including sending nude photographs. It was so hard to stay with her but I knew that we were both to blame for the way our relationship was and she felt like I no longer cared for her. Anyway, so the two of us have been getting tattoos at the same shop, and going in together. The owner of the shop has always made me extremely uncomfortable with the way he looks at her. He’s always trying to get a hug from her, etc. Very creepy, unprofessional way of behaving and talking to her. So the first time we went in, I sat with her while she got worked on, and he kept making comments about her breasts, etc. My sister, who was watching our 2 kids, called and said I had to come get them early. I really didn’t like this. It was a closed day for the shop, all the lights weren’t even on, and he’d come in on his off day just to do this tattoo. I hurried to get the kids, but had some errands to do, so it still took a while. When I finally picked her up, I had a really bad feeling. The tattoo artist made a comment when I asked my fiance for a cigarette, and I said she almost smoked the whole pack. He said “Well at least you know what she was doing the whole time”. The next time she went to get tattooed she asked to take my pocket knife with her for protection, but she still told me nothing happened, he was a nice guy, and I needn’t worry. After that she wanted me there at all times she was around him. The signs were all there but she wouldn’t say that anything happened. Finally last night after she and I had a date, she told me in the car, that when we first went in (3 weeks ago or so), and I had to leave, he kept getting erect at the noises she was making from her tattoo pain, and ” readjusting” himself. He kept making comments about how nice her fits looked with her new sexy tattoo. Kept touching his penis and readjusting. Then during the last half hour of the tattoo, he stood up to work on her chest and placed his erection on her forearm and kept it pressed against her for the roughly half hour he was tattooing, while repeatedly telling her how nice her fits looked and how sexy her tattoo looked. When they were done, and I showed up, I checked on her and then walked out to the car, thinking she was right behind me, but she was still in there finishing her paperwork. She later told me that while I was turned around he hugged her and she could feel the erection, and he slapped her butt, hard, on her way out the door. At first I was furious that she didn’t call me or tell him no or walk out. But she told me that in her head she hated every second, it felt horrible, degrading, and violating, and wanted to kick, push him off, or scream no, but the words wouldn’t come out. She said all she could think the whole time is “I already paid him and he might mess up my tattoo, or refuse to finish it and not refund my Money. I want to get this finished, and if I tell my fiance, he won’t let me come in here anymore.” She said that she nervously laughed at each thing he was doing to her, and the guy took it as consent or encouragement. She waited weeks to tell me, and up until then we have still been going to the shop and being around him. The guy has been begging me not to tell anyone, most of all his wife. My fiance feels terrible, for not telling him no, and hiding it from me, and I’m caught up in feeling… Lost. Confused. She was already unfaithful to me, and I just got over it, and this just ripped all the old wounds open even worse. Her past infidelity leaves me confused about this. What if she is just saying she felt bad or didn’t want him to so that I don’t leave her? Do you consider what happened to her a form of sexual assault? I really do want to believe her. The guy is a complete pervert with any woman who comes in, and is very unprofessional. He is the type to force himself like that, or at least push boundaries.

Hello, 

I experienced a a confusing sexual event a few years ago when I was a teenager and i’m still not entirely sure how to talk about it or even feel about it. When I was 17, my boyfriend and I were kissing. He told me that he wanted to have sex and I repeatedly told him no, he wouldn’t stop kissing me or get off of me so I eventually said okay to appease him. When he started to have sex with me I froze up and I remember having an outer body experience, disassociating to try to detach myself from what was happening. When it was over, my boyfriend cried profusely and started saying things like he was a bad person and that he felt terrible. I comforted him afterwards and apologized for not being more into it. Years later, I now realize that I shouldn’t have had to apologize or comfort him, but i’m not sure what to make of that event. Was it coercion? He didn’t penetrate me until I said “ok”. Was it sexual assault because I repeatedly said no? Was it rape? After all, he didn’t intimidate me, he just wouldn’t leave me alone. Sorry, i’m just not sure how to feel about any of it and could really use some advice. Thanks in advance.

Do you provide any services to help sexual abuse prisoner/stalked and torture survivors? My life is a secret mess.

I’m 15 and was at a party at my guy friend’s house. I had wayyy too much to drink very early on. The party was outside, but we moved inside when it started raining. I passed out on a couch and remember nothing after that. My friend who was in the same room with her boyfriend said that the boy who was hosting the party was laying next to me and stuck his hand down my pants and looked like he was fingering me. I almost don’t believe her because I find it impossible that I wouldn’t wake up. I don’t feel justified in really blaming him if it’s true, considering he was pretty drunk and I shouldn’t have been in the state I was to begin with. But I definitely wouldn’t have felt comfortable with the situation if I were concious. I simply want to know if I was in fact fingered. Is there any way to find out for sure?

I was drinking at a bar, I remember drinking. I remember leaving and talking to the person I was with. I remember turning toward him and everything goes black. I remember the car door opening and he picked me up out of the car… Do not know where we were at.. then don’t remember a period of time. I then remember him placing his hand over my mouth and saying shhh but know I was moaning.. then again everything goes black. I remember him waking up but I was completely dressed… I remember him walking me to the door and my legs felt very heavy… then everything goes black… I know he took me to my car but don’t really remember the drive home. I didn’t realize that we had sex until I woke up and was late for work. I went to the bathroom and I had no underwear on. I started to ask him questions. He stated that I was having full conversations with him. I fell and he had to carry me… He states that he undressed me and undressed me.. States that he had to help me go to the bathroom. He said that I was the aggressor and that I asked him to have sex with me. He said we had sex for hours went into details about things we did and remember nothing. He says I wanted him to take naked pictures of me and he has pictures of us having sex. I don’t remember .He says I consented. was this a alcohol black out.. was this sexual assault. I am not pressing charges either way.. I just want to know for myself. My best friend is making me feel it is because of my poor decisions is why this occurred.. I just want to remember the thing I want to forget the most. I don’t want to blame anyone for anything.. I just need a piece of mind for me.. thank you

If a guy touches and grabs your breast ABOVE the shirt, is it considered sexual assault? When I was 16, I liked this guy. We had message a lot on Facebook and we decided to hang out. I wanted to see a movie and hang out however, he decided to change the plans last minute and go to the orange groves and then to a park. I was uncomfortable with this for many reasons but I told him that it was fine. You see, I was uncomfortable because I had heard many rumors about this guy and what he had done. People told me that he made girls do things with him,etc. and many people thought he was creepy. But, I decided to go. Before the “date” I told him that if he did kiss me, he couldn’t touch my boobs. (He asked me if I would be uncomfortable with him touching me anywhere. That was my answer). I wanted to cancel the date because I was really nervous and actually kind of scared. But, I knew my mom would’ve been disappointed, so I went. We got to the orange groves and I had decided that I didn’t want to kiss him. But he kept trying. I kept telling him no but because he kept trying, I did it anyway. I knew he wasn’t going to listen. So we kissed. A lot. After that, we went to the park. It was dark out by then. But we didn’t get out of the car. He told me that we would just sit in the backseat. I thought this was weird but I did it anyway. We were sitting next to each other and he had his arm around me. But he kept touching my stomach. I’m really insecure so I felt very uncomfortable. I kissed him just so he would stop. It turned into making out. Then he touched my breast (it was over the shirt) and you know…like…squeezed it…. Ew. I don’t like talking about this. Sorry. Anyway, I said, “No.” And he kept doing it. So I said “Stop.” But he said “Why not? Please?” I kept telling him no and after about 2 minutes, he stopped. I asked him to take me home. Then he said to me, “Do you feel bad?” I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the ride home. So, is that considered sexual assault. 
P.S. I heard the laws for this are different in each state So, I live in Arizona.
P.P.S. This was my first kiss. I haven’t kissed anyone since then.

Does it count as sexual abuse??

Hi. I am a 17 year old girl, and have a question I’ve really wanted to ask but have never had a way to. I’ve never told anyone. When I was like 7, my older brother (12) used to do things to me, and I didn’t know what any of it was at the time. My question is, does that even count as being molested?? I know it is when an adult does it, but he was only 5 years older than me. I don’t know if it’s related but I’ve always had issues with being way too emotional and kind of have trouble thinking before I do things, so I end up regretting a lot of things. I’ve thought about seeing a counselor before like when I get really depressed and self harm, but that’s always over within a couple hours so no point. Sorry it’s all mixed up and hard to follow. thanks !!

My friend was sexually assaulted in Missouri, I live in California but I told her I would find out what she can do for her. How can I help her? I am NOT going to report this without her consent I am just finding out information for her and I’m going to tell her what I find out. 

Additional She is 18+ but her attacker is underage.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. The first few months together we had sex regularly. It was fun and we were both having a good time. Then somewhere down the line (maybe 6 months after we started dating) we didn’t have sex as much. It was me, I wasn’t ever in the mood anymore and I didn’t know why. Sometimes if i’m laying on the bed my boyfriend would pull my pants off and play around with my private parts and I just don’t like that. Sometimes if we were playing, wrestling or i’m tickling his feet or something he grabs me and holds me down and tries to fondle me. If I say I don’t like it he would say, “I’m just playing.” like that makes it alright. He’s very sensitive and its hard to bring this up without making him upset or seem like a bad guy. I just don’t think he understands what it feels like to be held down, not being able to move and to be touched when you don’t want to be touched. He thinks our sexual problems have to do with me not being more open or experimental. I feel sexually closed off because when he tries to touch me near a private area my body involuntarily cringes in defense and he sees me do this. Even if he is just coming to hug me sometimes my body just acts on its own. I know it hurts him but he doesn’t understand and i’m not sure how to talk to him about sexual assault. I know i’m going to hurt his feelings when we have our big talk but i’m just not sure how to approach the subject.

It really boils down to him not understanding my feelings. His mentality is (for example) if someone has an irrational fear, something they shouldn’t be afraid of at all he thinks is that they should just get over it. It’s that simple, at least in his mind.

I really love him and I want this to work between us. I WANT to have a sexual relationship with him again. I WANT to WANT it. I think i’m just not sexually comfortable around him and its really hard.

For the woman who sent the message saying she and children are being held against their will and do not have a safe way to contact the police. Please send a new message through this message board with your address and city and we can notify the police. Your message will not post publicly and is only seen by our staff. 

I was asleep and intoxicated. Someone who I thought was my friend pulled my pants down and inserted his fingers into me. I did not consent to this. I don’t even think I would of been able to even if I was awake because I was so intoxicated. But I don’t know if it was sexual assault because from what I remember, when he was trying to push himself into me, I touched him and I did not try to get up and leave. I didn’t want to have sex with him or have any kind of sexual relationship, but I didn’t push him away either. I don’t believe I would of been physically harmed had I pushed him away. I was just really drunk and didn’t even fully realize what was going on for some time. 
I’m just confused if this is considered sexual assault?

I decided I wanted to divorce my husband before I told him (and brought it up a few times years back). I told him November 2014. We separated within the marital home. I asked him if he wanted the bedroom or the basement, he took the basement. Long story short, I was peeing and he came in my separate marital bathroom, pulled down his pants, stuck his penis in my face and was like don’t you want this. I told him to stop but he wouldn’t so I pushed him off of me and took my kids and left. I returned home later that night and locked my door.

I have more to provide and talking tonight about this issue and power and control issues I have dealt with for years

Is it sexual harassment if i say to a coworker i wish that she didnt have a boyfriend. It doesnt seem like it to me

When i was 12, my stepdad started showing me r-rated films that my mom didn’t approve of because they had sexual themes. My mum would always turn in early and my stepdad would scooch closer to me on the couch. He would then oift my shirt up halfway and rub my back as gestured and implied for me to lean in. Throughout the next day, he would proceed to send me pictures of animals having sex and dirty jokes. He also had erectile dysfunction, so maybe this was all he could do? This cycle continued until my mom broke up with him. My question is, was I sexually abused?

Last night me and my friend got black out drunk at a party. We literally had tons of people having to help us down the hill and into the cars. I puked so many times on our way back to our friends house. My male friend kept grabbing me and i was laying on him in the car because i felt really sick and he kept kissing me. I didnt want him to at all but i didnt say anything. When we got to his house i puked more and he stayed in the bathroom with me to help. We finally got into bed and he started kissing my neck and feeling me all over. I didnt want him to at all .. I still feel so violated too. I dont remember much but i did finally tell him to stop before he tried to do more. I didnt want him touching me at all. Now when i think about it i cringe. Am i just over reacting? Is it sexual assault even though he finally stopped and didnt try anything else?

Hi I asked a question about couple of days ago and I haven’t gotten a response yet so I’m hoping I’ll get one back soon but if not. My question was that I was rapped when i was 17 by a couple of guys at the same time I was drinking but I think they put something in my drink. I know that a lot of people say it’s not the rapped victims fault if they where drinking. I feal that I might have been able to stop it. My question is now I’m 30 and I just started to get flashbacks I don’t know why it took so long for it to happen and I don’t know what to do and I really haven’t told anyone either can you give me some advice?

A teacher at my son’s school as said that it’s sexual assault if my son of 11 has pulled another 11 year old boys shorts down for fun is this right

Umm so this happened a few years ago but my uncle like to get drunk a lot and one night while I was staying at my grandma’s he was really drunk and trying to leave the house to start a fight with the neighbors at 3 in the morning and I stopped him from going outside. I was really scared and nervous he would do something so I pulled him into the kitchen and blocked him from leaving and he started hugging me really close and breathing in my hair he was telling me how beautiful I was and he loved me and he started running his hands up and down my back and he started to squeeze my butt. I was wearing shorts and he slipped his hand in the back of my shorts he kept squeezing and rubbing me up against him and whispering things in my ear. I didnt know what to do so I just let him continue with what he was doing for 5 minuteshe keep asking me to go downstairs and sleep with him but i told him I had to go to sleep so he let me go he keep whispering to me to go with him but I said no I had to sleep after a while he went away. After laying in my bed I realized how scared I was but also that I got aroused but I don’t know why i didn’t go to sleep until the sun came up because I was making sure he was sleep and wasn’t gonna come back. The next morning he begged me to forgive him and I said that it was OK ever since our relationship has never been quite the same in that I don’t wanna be alone with him ever again even though I know it won’t happen again I think that he has forgot it but it still haunts me and I think about it a lot but I don’t know if what he did was really wrong or if I’m just over reacting can you please tell me what it was that happened I haven’t told anyone because I’m confused

I once told my husband I would never deny him sexually. In the middle of a cancer scare with pain and bleeding, I made him promise to leave me alone in that sense. He did not. I would wake up with him on top of me. Is that assault?

Not sure if this is sexual assault or harassment. Something has happened to me years ago at work confused, and afraid to say anything. I have tried to block it out, which somewhat works but I think I’ve been holding up somewhat. I feel I was taking advantage of. I’ve never told anyone, kind of keeping it a secret. But I think this person just can’t not walk by me without touching me in someway. This person is my supervisor.

A few months ago my brother came into my room while I was sleeping and pressed himself against me which awoke me and started asking me questions like “Do you like me?” and “Do you like this?” when I told him no, I only want to sleep he left but I was very shook up. I never told my family only a close friend. What do I do?

I don’t know what to do – I have tried to protect my children from being embarrassed or upset – my husband abused me sexually and emotionally for years until I finally had the courage to get him out of the house – I have tried to not hurt his family by telling them and have only told my sister as I know my brothers well I actually don’t want to think about what they wld do – I have tried so very hard to protect so many people but my whole soul is being destroyed and now he has bought a house at the bottom of my street and I now feel every single emotion all over again every single day – I can’t sleep I am having nightmares what can I do.

This happened about six months ago and I’ve been blocking it out for the most part, but it keeps coming back to mind and torturing me. My former roommate and I went out to the bars in our college town for the second time together (for me this was the second time I had ever gone to bars). The time before a couple of her male acquaintances came back to the apartment and we all hung out and had PLATONIC fun. Very intoxicated, I wanted to have people over again.
I don’t remember anything but bits and pieces past a point, but I remember this guy kissing my cheek at the apartment after my roommate went to bed. I didn’t really care but I definitely wasn’t interested in reciprocating and did not. The next thing I remember he had stuck his hand down my jeans…… I remember telling him no, and that I loved my boyfriend, but I couldn’t move! He must have stopped though before trying other stuff… This is when I regained the ability to move and ran off to my roommate’s room crying.
I still feel terrible about this and blame myself. I have nightmares about cheating on my boyfriend. I’ve never been able not to move while drinking and blame myself and I don’t know how to over this. Can someone really be that drunk? Why couldn’t I defend myself? Is it possible that I was experiencing the effects of something besides alcohol?

Me and a bunch of people were sleeping at someone’s house after a party and a boy started touching me (and yes I mean everywhere but over my clothes). I was still drunk and wasn’t completely aware and I was scared so I pretended to be asleep. I didn’t say no, he thought I was sleeping, but I also didn’t give my consent. Is this sexual assault even though I didn’t do anything to stop him?

Am I overreacting? A couple months ago, my boyfriend and I got together with another couple. (I’ve been friends with her for years and I know her boyfriend pretty well) We were all drinking. I blacked out, but I remember bits and pieces of the night. My boyfriend and I ended up staying at my friends house. I woke up to her boyfriend touching me all over. I thought he was tucking me in or making sure I was okay? He then tried to get in my shorts down the front and up the back. I couldn’t stop him. He came out TWICE and did this and the second time he put his hand in my bra. My boyfriend was sleeping right next to us! I wanted to pretend it never happened. But my friend ended up saying I “acted like he raped me”. And that I “would have done anything that night”. Because I was so drunk. We are no longer friends. But I’m starting to think maybe I’m overreacting and I should try to mend the friendship.

I was partying at my boyfriends cousins house .. I passed out drunk early and was put to bed by my boyfriend of 8 years.. and was checked up on by him according to him… i remember I woke up to the cousins husband that is at least 10 years older than me on top of me grabbing my body I think it happened in more than once that night cause I remember waking up to it more than once.. I kept falling back sleep.. I don’t know if anything happened.. Somehow I had gotten naked ( panties still on) and my boyfriend told me he wasn’t the one who helped me out of my clothes .. Is this sexual assault.. I can’t remember anything so I don’t know if I had anything to do with causing it to happen.. And I don’t want to confront anyone because of family problems it may cause.. How can I deal with it?

Does this count as sexual assault? I spent the night at my friends house with her and her boyfriend and told him that night that while my boyfriend doesn’t have boundaries for our relationship I do and that I wasn’t going to do anything sexual because I felt it would jeopardize our relationship. The next day after she went to work he got on top of me and kissed me while grabbing my chest and was grinding into me and told me that if he wasn’t with her he would fuck me then and there (they’re sort of in an open relationship so what he did didn’t violate their thing he just can’t have sex). I froze in fear and eventually he got off. The next day I tried to talk to him and figure out why that happened but the only explanation he gave was lust and that “we’re all human.” I told him I did want it and I told my friend seperately that it was okay but it really wasn’t I just didn’t want to cause drama. Now they won’t take me seriously because I said that even though want and consent are two different things. She keeps telling me that I’m just upset that I didn’t say no. Is this considered sexual assault? What options do I have from here?

What should I do my daughter told me my brother touched her on the butt a few years ago . So i thought i did what i needed i would not let her go around him no more … but in the past few days she told me it was under her cloths and she is trying to blame herself because she wanted to stay all night I told her it was not her fault she is a child but he should know better he is a adult … Did i do the right thing and what should i do ? I don’t want to let her down and think I wont stand up for her …

Why aren’t friends loyal about sexual assault?
people fail to take it seriously and as the victim i feel like it’s my fault.
My ex-boyfriend is in the same group of friends as me. He didn’t take our breakup well in early January and refuses to accept that I’ve moved on while he hasn’t at all. When we go out clubbing he gets drunk and desperately tries to get me back and is really creepy with me. Last weekend he was particularly needy and kept trying to kiss me and get me to dance with him. We stayed at a friend’s on Saturday night in the early hours for drinks, he knew I was staying there and refused to leave supposedly because it was late and he would be mugged. So we slept in the same bed. He climbed in hastily beside me and I was so tired and thought what would happen as we aren’t together now, i didn’t object -mistake! as soon as my friend went to sleep he started touching me everywhere and was whispering how he still loved me and wanted me back, he kept trying to kiss me so i clearly said No to each advance he made and then turned over to face the other way and went to sleep. Then again he tried to grab me and pull me on top of him, and said something like he wanted sex, I said no again and told him to stop touching me. I then woke up to his hands on me again and he ran his hand up my leg and tried to touch me through my tights. Then I lept up and got out.
The following day he messaged me saying how depressed he was and I spent hours in the night crying trying to convince him not to commit suicide, I was so scared so called his roommate to check on him. He was so angry the next morning and told me i had no right and that he never was going to kill himself.
By then id had enough, he had been constantly bothering me since our breakup and with this i told him I wanted no further contact.
I organized a night out and he invited himself and refused to stay home. my friends say I’m overreacting, and one girl said I brought it on myself by wearing a tight dress, chatting with him and hugging him that night (which i did as an alternative to kissing him), and I should just come out. They are acting like nothing happened with him because they don’t want to ‘take sides’ I didn’t realize there were sides on something like this, it’s not just a petty argument, he assaulted me and now I can’t go out anymore because he says he deserves to be there and will always come, I’ve asked if we can go out alternate weeks and he is refusing to agree to this either.
I’m sick of being made to feel like it’s my fault, and if this happened to one of my other mates I would never speak to the person again, some things i just don’t think you can sit on the fence with, but I’m being told to get on with it and stop making a fuss. Why is no one at all loyal over this, just because it wasn’t rape?

What if I can’t call or get away?only able to access the phone quickly and quietly help

My husband has been drugging me and sexually assaulting me while I am asleep for about 3 years. I have preemptively told him on many occasions not to do this to me, and that I am not consenting to him sexually assaulting me. I have recorded conversations with him where I am begging him to stop doing this, and he has admitted what he has done. He constantly tells me he’s going to get help and has even moved into the garage, because he was assaulting me every night. but now he breaks into the bedroom and just stands over me until I wake up and see him and I scream. It’s almost as if he is telling me he could kill me while I sleep. I am absolutely frightened of him. He has not hit me, but God I wish he would, because then I could call the police on him. I truly want him to go to prison for what he has done to me, I just don’t know what to do. He’s stealing a part of my spirit everytime he does this to me. I am so tired of being abused.

I have a question. I was sexually assaulted 2 years ago by my boyfriend at the time. I never reported the incident because I believed that no one would believe me and that it was all in my head. Sometimes when I have flashbacks to that night, I sometimes doubt myself on what really happened. Is that normal or am I just minimizing the incident?

My mom and my step dad have been together for 10 years with a short break in the middle. Tonight I was fighting with my mom and I was crying and went outside to breathe. He came out to comfort me, it was a little awkward but I appreciated it. Then later he also fought with her and before I went to bed I went in his room and told him goodnight and said “I love you” because we do not say it much but my father is absent from my life and he is like a father figure and I wanted him to know that I appreciated it. Well he hugged me and hugged me and his hand kind of kept getting lower but it never got to my butt and he kissed me on the mouth twice. He’s never done it before and it weirded me out. I don’t know if I should mention this to my mom or not… I’m confused, what if he was just being nice? What if Im over reacting? Im only 16.

So this last weekend my fiancé and I went out drinking and usually we have no problem, but I guess one of those drinks really knocked me on my butt, because I got really drunk and when we got home I took a bath and passed out in the tub. I woke up to him sucking on my nipple, and I am 99% sure I also felt fingers in me. He had apparently tried to wake me up by shaking me and stuff, but I didn’t, so he did that. We were BOTH drunk, and he says he has no idea why he did it, and he really seems sorry. Should this be a big deal or no? I feel angry and confused, but also like I’m making a huge deal out of something that’s not, even to the point of me now staying in the spare bedroom and stuff.

I’m not sure if this is considered sexual assault or not. The other night I became very intoxicated at my friend’s house. I went to sleep later that night. When I woke up I saw that her brother was laying next to me and had his arm around me. It took me a second to realize it was him. I turned over and tried to just go back to sleep hoping that maybe he’d think I was asleep and leave me alone. I was still very intoxicated at this point. He started rubbing my thigh and putting his hand up my shirt. Eventually he put his hands down my pants. After about a minute he tried to take my pants off and I removed his hand, quickly got up and left. I feel confused because I didn’t want it to happen but I didn’t say no. But I never said it was okay. I feel hurt and guilty like I was in the wrong. I have a boyfriend and I don’t know how to tell him, I don’t want him to think I cheated on him.

A few days ago I made amends with an old friend that I haven’t seen in a year because I missed him and thought that it was silly for us to not be friends anymore because I moved away for college. Last night he drove to come and hang out with me and my friends. We were drinking in my apartment and were having a good time. Later we talked about our relationship and he admitted that he is in love with me and developed a drinking problem when I moved away. Anyways, we all drank a little more and after everyone left he passed out in my bed. When I came to bed I just climbed into bed with him fully clothed ready to fall asleep. Then he started touching me. We were both drunk, him more than I, so it seemed very surreal. All night he was rubbing against me and groping me in places even when I would say stop or push him away. At one point he pulled out his genitals and just held me to his chest. I tried to just ride it out because the more I fought with him the more he held me, and he’s twice my size so I knew I wouldn’t be able to overpower him. I tried to laugh it off this morning and he said he doesn’t remember anything because he was blacked out drunk. He’s never hurt me like this before, we’ve never even kissed. I don’t want to see him become dependent on alcohol again because it runs in his family and he’s obviously only like this when he drinks. I’m not sure what to do.

I’m needing help bad my ex raped me multiply times then took my kids but he lives in another state he has been looked at for child rape and raped his little brother how do I get my kids from him???

I am inquiring if there is any way to get more information about statutory rape. Is there any, groups or education to help young adults understand the statute of limitations is in place for a reason and help better inform young adults of the serious consequences?
It seems that the high school students that turn 18 while dating someone a few years younger don’t seem to be clear in understanding that this is not to be taken lightly.
Do you offer any groups or trading for this age group to better understand this law and the importance of it being followed?

I was sexually assaulted last night after a date by an old co-worker. I tried to drive home and he took my car keys and told me I was too drunk to drive although I had only had a beer. He forced himself on me and hurt me. Although he didn’t have sex with me he did do other things that I told him not to and would not stop even though I cried and told him to stop. After a while of fighting I got him to get off and went home. He now is texting me like nothing happened and kept saying I couldn’t blame him. He was just used to getting what he wants. I’m really confused and don’t know what to do or who to talk to

We spent the weekend at my in laws house for the fourth of July. Today, my 8 year old daughter told me that my new brother in law told her that the reason they got a new dog is so they could rub it’s belly without having to worry about the penis popping up (the new dog is a girl). He then told my daughter that they could never rub the other dogs belly; due to his penis getting in the way. My daughter then told me it must be something to do with an instinct that boys have, because that’s what her uncle told her .. I feel like this is so disgusting and out of line. I asked her if anyone else heard or was around and she said no. My husband thinks I am overreacting, I think he’s preying on a child by saying something like that. This is a college graduate– with a full time job .. I feel like he should know better, and me or my husband need to tell him that was out of line..What should I do?

I’m not sure if this is sexual assault or not but it was a very uncomfortable situation. Back in 2009 my step dad got drunk and as we were talking about an ex of mine he got really close between my legs and his fingers brushed against my thighs slowly getting higher as he was telling me how pretty he thought I was. I made an excuse that I was tired and left. Am I overreacting or was this wrong?

Hello! So I called last night and I just wanted to thank who I talked to. I was calling because one of my closest friends had been raped and she didn’t want to report it, even though she’s 16 and the man (who has just gotten out of prison for messing around with small children, and still has an ankle bracelet on) is 27. The woman I talked to was extremely helpful with me in deciding how to help my friend, and I’m glad I filed a report. So, thank you Support Line Advocate. 

I have posted on this site multiple times, as I am too afraid to share my story in person. Initially I shared the details of my sexual assault and more recently I experienced a flashback after thinking I was about to be assaulted again while at a bar. Just a few days ago, I got drunk, in the safety of my own home with a friend. After she left I begin reliving the night of my assault after watching a movie that triggered my thoughts. That night, as a result of those thoughts I was unable to sleep because every time I closed my eyes all I could see was the events leading up to, during, and after my assault. I feel that my drinking helps to numb the pain of the various things that I am going through, however, some times, it leads to over thinking which results in the flashbacks, which go on to alter my daily life. I don’t know where to go from here or how to be able to reach out to get help. The lack of help that I am receiving appears to be the cause of these flashbacks however I don’t know what to do in order to get help.

My daughter has been in a controlling, emotionally abusive, physically abusive, verbally abusive & sexually abusive (with severe fits of jealous rage) marriage which highly intensified when she got pregnant. After the baby was born the sexual abuse intensified. She was in love with this man & had hoped the abuse would stop. He has been very insecure the entire marriage but his insecurity & jealousy got worse after the baby was born, accusing her of loving the baby more & fearing she would leave him. He goaded her into an argument after physically forcing her to have anal sex against her will. He then called the police on her & is trying to take her child away. The long & short of it is that he set her up. After spending a while finally getting her to the point she was willing to report the sexual abuse, the police detectives seem to be very dismissive. She went to her Gynecologist who found evidence of trauma even a couple of weeks after the last incessant. Help please. How do we find someone to advocate for her & take this seriously?

Any ideas or help would be appreciated. We live in Nashville, TN. I witnessed the day to day controlling, emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, the belittling, the raging fits of unfounded jealousy for a year & a half. My daughter just wanted to have a family. She is very religious & has a deep belief in a forever family. I tried different times to try to get her to do something about his behavior. She even sought the help of several counselors to try to cope with & handle his behavior. She had real hopes that he would get better if she loved him enough. My daughter was able to get him to go to the therapist twice, once with her & once on his own, but once he was told that he had idea seated issues he needed to work on, he refused to go any more. He told her she was the one with the problems, not him. The therapist recommended the book to her ” Why Does He Do That?” It is clear from what the therapist had to say that she was worried that her husband was abusing her. But as any of you know that have gone to a therapist they have you sign a release when you first start seeing them that if they become aware of any physical abuse they have to, report it. So she never told them that he was physically assaulting her although she did tell her that her husband insisted on having sex at least 5-6 times a day. Help…advice please on finding someone to advocate for her.

My ex has violently and sexually abused me even during pregnancy. I have a restraining order in place until 2017. He presently was released from prison and has been leaving me phone messages, which I ignore. Because of my abuse I suffer from anxiety and sometimes stutter. He moved to the county were I was in, so I ran away with my toddler. I am now in Galt and homeless and without a car. What can I do???

My stepdaughter is 22 and sexually harassing my 16 and 20 year old sons. She shows her buttocks to them and gets close in their personal space and has asked my 20 year old for sex just recently. It’s escalating. 

I was raped by my husband’s stepdaughter and we need to get our own place close to school or work but I don’t make enough…. could you guys please help?

I was raped about 4 years ago and I am trying to have a relationship with a good man. Can I still have the 8 classes that I need so I can move forward? I realize it has been 4 years but I am in need of these classes.

I am a woman who works Stockton Blvd. A group of men I refused services to came back and later broke my jaw. I am a patient at UC Davis soon to be released (in minutes in fact). I have nowhere to go and they just now told me they can’t find the $72 savings I came in with. Can you help? I am worried about these guys finishing the “job” rather than have me identify them.

I have a question about 3 years ago I went to visit my best friend. I laid down with her and we were laughing like good old days. That is the last thing I remember. I was woken up by her later where I was sleeping on the couch with my pants off and her husband was standing naked behind me. I remember nothing until she woke me up freaking out on me that I did something with her husband. As far as I know I did nothing with him. She said it took 15 minutes just to wake me up. She pushed me into the bathroom where I fell and hit my head. She has not talked to me since. My heart is broken. It’s all I think about trying to remember anything and I can’t. I would like to press some kind of charges against him but don’t know what or where to even begin. Please help me.

Hi. I was at my mom’s place for a visit about 1.5 years ago who lives in another country. My brother also was there at the same time. One night when I was going to my room he called me to his room and I went to see if he was okay as he had a disease for years. He told me that he wanted to talk about his secret and if I could help him. I said sure. Among my siblings, he is the most popular one. Everyone accepts everything that he says and does everything for him. Anyhow, he started talking about his sexual problems and that his wife doesn’t understand him. I asked him to talk to her but he was asking me over and over if I can help, then he asked me about details of my relationship with my husband in bed. I couldn’t understand him. First, I felt so bad that he sounded so desperate, but the day after I could not understand why he talked to me instead of a sex therapist!!!!! The following day, he asked me to help him cut his hair in the back and all of sudden felt his hands touching my toes and messaging. I took my foot away and at first I thought it was a mistake but he did it again and I took it away. I cried and got so depressed afterwards. Talked to my physician 6 months after and she told me that that was sexual harassment. I couldn’t believe it and still can’t. I can’t trust anyone especially my own family members. I hate my brother. I am having problems in bed with my husband. I’m so depressed. My life has not gotten back to normal. I’ve become very sensitive and have low tolerance for my family members. I need help….I hate men. …I feel my husband one day would cheat on me. I don’t know where to seek help. My doctor just said to forget it. I TRULY CAN’T.

Please give me direction what to do. I live in Toronto. Thanks

Throughout the time I was with him, my now ex, daughter’s, used to touch me even when I refused. Mainly he would try/get his hand under my pants. If I told him no, he would ask me if that upset me, if I said yes, he would get upset with me. This went on the whole time we were together (about 6 years on and off). Sometimes I would say no and he would walk off upset, sometimes I would say no and try to move away but he would resist and kept trying to get his hand in there, sometimes I didn’t say anything but would try to move his hand away, to which he resisted. Sometimes I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want him to get upset. It went on until about 4 months ago when we weren’t together anymore. The last thing he did was touch my behind in public, after I had seriously told him I didn’t like that after previous occasions. He said it wasn’t his fault because he couldn’t resist. I recently talked to him about it and he basically said it was my fault because I didn’t make myself be respected with other guys (because of having casual sex with other guys when we weren’t together).

Last month I was at my house when I got a call from my ex-boyfriend he asked if he could come over-we’re now friends by the way- so I said yeah come on over. Once he got here he hugged me saying hello but it felt different and a little uncomfortable but I didn’t pay much attention to it so we talked for a while in the living room and I realized that he was getting closer and closer to me, to the point where he was on my face and trying to lay me down to get on top of me but I kept backing away.  It got to the point where he just got rough and slammed me on the couch, got on top of me and started kissing me while holding my hands so I couldn’t move and I couldn’t move my body at all, I kept telling him no and please stop but he kept going. He kept going to the point he was able to rip my clothes and he begun to take of his clothes. We did have sex- or more like he made me have sex with him-he didn’t use a condom, I had bruises on my wrists where he was holding me tight, I took a picture of my bruises thinking I would need it and I also saved all the text messages including one where he said “did you like it?” ” I’m sorry it happened that way I didn’t mean to hurt you but you didn’t give me another choice” and “next time it’ll be better you’ll love it” and I really don’t want this to happen again. I haven’t been able to sleep at night I have nightmares and I feel like I don’t want to get near this one guy that likes me and that I like…. My period is now 6 weeks late should I go with a doctor? No one knows what happened; I don’t know what to do should I report him with sexual assault? I did some research and it said it’s not valid if I was the one who let him in to my house. if I’m pregnant i don’t want him to be near me and the baby or any sort of child support; I want him to pay the consequences because I know I refused and he assaulted me. I just want to know where to start? How do I tell my parents? What should I do if I’m pregnant? How will this affect me? What should I expect if I can charge him with rape? , ETC or should I just stay quiet…. I need some advice… please!

I’m 17 years old and he’s now 19 that makes it illegal right? He’s considered an adult now.

My friend just told me that she’s having sex with this guy she’s living with in order to stay in his house. I think this is a form of rape, am I correct? I don’t know if this is important but they’re both 18.

I was sexually abused between the ages of 9-14 by two of my mother’s relationship partners of the time period. I know that I want to file an Incident Report now before the age of 28, but I also want to explore the possibility of pressing charges. I have a clean record and these are not resurfaced memories. They never left me. Neither perpetrator successfully raped me, but they both tried. My family was and still is grossly unsupportive. I left my home when I was 17 years old. While in college I was diagnosed with PTSD at 21 with symptoms of systematic anxiety attacks, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, and a single episode of major depression near the time of my diagnosis. Despite that I have successfully finished my college degree and am living a normal life except in that I have a very difficult time forming and especially maintaining relationships with anyone and my PTSD symptoms are yet present on a regular basis.

I have been told that I have until my 28th birthday to press charges. Is that true?
If so, please direct me to any resources available through WEAVE to prepare myself and/or begin the process.

When I was 7, my brother started molesting me. It started with him just wanting me to take my shirt off, and then he started wanting to touch and other things. He molested me for 2 years. I convinced myself for a while that he just didn’t know what he was doing. Now that I’m 15 and he’s an adult, I understand that he fully knew what he was doing. I’ve been dealing with depression, insomnia, anxiety, and self-esteem issues for a while because of it. I don’t want to go to therapy, and I don’t want to tell my parents or confront him. But I’m tired of feeling depressed and anxious about it. What do I do?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year. I know that he loves me very deeply and would do anything for me. Recently, my friends have told me that they heard about my boyfriend sending his friends naked pictures of me and receiving naked pictures of other girls from his school. I confronted my boyfriend about this and he denied it. He gets very very angry when I ask him about it and tells me that he doesn’t want to be with me if I don’t believe him. This leads me to believe that it’s true, but I don’t have proof. I’ve thought about asking his mom in confidence to check his texting history and see if he did send naked pictures of me to his friends. I am still with him, because I love him very much and don’t want to lose him. But it kills me to think that my pictures may be on other people’s phones/internet sites. I know that he loves me and he would only do that because of peer pressure and immaturity, I just need to know for sure if it happened or not. I don’t know how to do this.

When I was between the ages of 7 and 9, my brother(age 12-14 at the time) use to let me use his toys in exchange for “favors”. These favors consisted of me showing him genitals and/or letting him touch them. Was this just his way of experimenting with puberty? Or was he molesting me?

Almost exactly one year ago, my then boyfriend of two years raped me. It took a long time for me to be able to tell anyone. Six months later, he broke up with me and it was a great relief. A year later, he is still not done terrorizing my life. Because he has not stopped threatening me and my loved ones, I felt like it was necessary to talk to a police officer about what happened, which has brought up many difficult emotions to deal with. The officer advised that I press charges and have him arrested, but I am very afraid to do so. I know the evil things he is capable of and he knows where I live. I am so frightened and it’s starting to really affect me (I have a stress-induced heart condition, terrible anxiety, and horrific nightmares). What can I do?

My 19 year daughter was recently sexually assaulted and is afraid to talk about it.I found out by asking her yes or no questions. She was gang raped by people that she possibly knew.i have tried for the past two days to talk to her but she just doesn’t want to talk about it.i am a frantic and concerned Mom and have even tried to take her to the hospital but she has constantly refused to go..Help me please what shall I do???she just stays in her room curled up ..she needs help

I was sexually assaulted at work and then after I reported it to my supervisor I was still forced to face my attacker everyday for 3 months before they let him go for other reasons. I did not report it to the police. I actually suppressed it and the finally remembered it and told my husband and after that I told my doctor who added it to his report for my Worker’s comp case. I am need to counseling for my PTSD has I was sexually assaulted when I was a little girl for 16 years. Are you able to help me?

Is it possible to have flashbacks of a rape from being roofied years later but not remembering anything about it previously. I believe I was roofied when I was 18 at a house party and I barely remember much of that evening but a few things do stand out. I remember being extremely incoherent before I blacked out and waking up hours later asking my friend for help to call someone to get me. I was still very incoherent I couldn’t even make the ca myself. 9 years later I have been having flashbacks and I actually remember waking up to someone on top of me and others being outside of the door laughing and yelling things. I don’t know if I’ve always known this and repressed it from my memory or if I’m truly only remember now. Please help.

I keep blaming myself for not fighting back or ever saying no. I didn’t say anything. I was drunk and he already knew it was something I didn’t want to do . I feel like I might have even been trying to convince myself that I wanted to do it. The whole thing is just so strange and I can’t stop wondering what I could have done differently, how I could have stopped it from happening.

Hello, 
I have been raped twice. Once by someone who was supposed to be my friend, and then about a year later by my then boyfriend. I tried getting help through insurance, through free county healthcare, I even tried to find this organization because I heard you help people like me. Can I get free services from anywhere, (I am currently a full time student)? I have nightmares, anxiety, depression and unpredictable meltdowns. It’s humiliating and I need help. Thank you for your time.

Four years ago when I was a freshman in college I had a traumatic experience with a friend of mine (lets call him John) and fellow student on my campus. I had just broken up with my long distance boyfriend and was absolutely heartbroken. John was helping me through it and I was happy that someone was willing to be there for me at such a difficult time. 

Less than a week after the breakup me and a group of friends (including John) got together in one of our dorm rooms to drink and watch a movie. John brought some alcohol, which I particularly liked, and I drank a lot of it. All of us did. The rest starts to get hazy. I remember that we all semi-passed out around the same time. We all got extremely tired and collapsed on the bed. Someone asked John to turn the lights off. As soon as the room was dark I remember John lying completely on top of me. I couldn’t move or speak. My arms felt like lead and I couldn’t lift my head. Then I don’t remember how much time passed but all of a sudden John was kissing me on my face and neck and chest. I don’t remember if he ever touched my breasts or not. He didn’t try to finger me. But I think I remember feeling his erection and him rubbing up against me as I lay on the bed. It gets hazy again after that. I remember at some point he got up and left the room, but shortly after that he came back and started doing the same things to me. I remember crying and thinking “well I can’t move or speak or do anything, so I’m just going to close my eyes and pretend it’s my ex-boyfriend and not John doing this.” 

And then another friend who was in the room came to realize something was going on and he told John to stop. Somehow I got enough strength to prop myself up on my hands and finally get out of the room, where I collapsed sobbing in the hallway. Next thing I know John is bursting out of the room and leaves the building. The friend who stopped it came and comforted me. I know that eventually I walked back across campus by myself to my own dorm and went to bed, but I have no memory whatsoever of actually going back to my room. I received two texts later from John. One was “what just happened?” The other was, “I don’t know what you must think of me, I really like you.”

I have been struggling with the emotional aftermath of this night for some time. The first year was the hardest, but about a year and a half later I found myself beginning to heal. Still, my reactions when I saw him around campus were ones of panic, anxiety, and fear. In the past few years I have learned to control my reactions and recognize when they are coming on, but I still question myself and wonder about what exactly happened that night, whether I overreacted, and whether my emotions are even valid. Was I even sexually assaulted if no penetration happened and he didn’t use his hands to touch me down there? Can I even be sure my emotions are valid if I can’t remember everything? And then I think about how I don’t know how far John was willing to go that night or what would have happened if he hadn’t been stopped. He genuinely thought he did nothing wrong.

Hello, my son was abused when he was 6 years old. I didn’t find this information out until this year now that he is 13 years old when he went away on a summer vacation with my friend’s son. He then tells me the boy was trying to fondle him and they both did. Now the other boy’s mother is saying my son molested her son and has filed a polic report against my son and myself. We are in NYC and I’m just trying to figure out what i need to do to avoid this from escalating anymore. She has contacted me several times through texts, being very rude and has threatened to make a scene. At this point, I don’t know what to do and just need help and some answers on what approach to take.

I have a history of being sexually abused, and cannot sexually touch my partner. I have panic attacks and will not do any thing of the sort unless commanded to do so. My current partner has never tried to force or coerce me to touch him, but has reached his limit and thinks I find him repulsive, which is not the case. Any advice? Please help.

Last year I was out with friends on a night out. I started walking home and was joined by some guys I knew from work or through school and one guy I’d never met. They walked me home and this guy I’d not met before kept trying to hold my hand and walk with me. When I got to my road, all the guys I knew walked off from this guy and he followed me home. When I told him to leave me alone he refused and kept following. He then pushed his way into my house and wouldn’t leave no matter how much I told him to. He just wouldn’t leave. He then ended up getting undressed (still had boxers on) and climbed into my bed. I set up a bed on the floor and settled down. I was pretty much asleep when I was awoken by him pinning my wrists down to the floor, kissing my neck and trying to get into my pj’s. I told him to stop and pushed him off and he staggered back into my bed. Is this considered sexual assault? Or am I over reacting. I’ve not been able to get it out my head since it happened.

While using your services to obtain information and forms associated with a summary dissolution, several items became assocaited with child support; my paycheck and health benefits. 

What do you suggest individuals do so that this does not happen to them over and over again?

I’m seeking help. I live in Yuba City and was wondering if there where any offices near me? Or if you could let me know of some other way to get help.. I really want to see someone rather than over the phone..I just don’t know where to look.

I am now 46 years old and have been married for 21 years, but my husband found out about an incident that happened to me when I was 17 years old and he really want to hurt this man. What I want to know is if what happened to me when I was 17 is considered rape. Here’s the story. I was a senior in high school and still a virgin. I went to a school dance with a girl friend. Neither of us had dates. We began talking to 2 guys we had been knowing all our school years. One thing led to another and myself and one of the guys began making out. Then he wanted to take it a step further, so he began undoing my pants. I didn’t really want to, but somehow he ended up breaking the button and the zipper on my pants and he got them off. He ended up on top of me and I got really scared and asked him to stop, but of course he didn’t. He continued doing his thing while I cried and begged him to stop continuously. About a year or so later I ran into him and he apologized for that night. I have never told my parents because I felt I was wrong for leading him on, but now my husband of 21 years keeps saying, “That was rape and I’m going to hurt him the next time I see him. Do you really think an apology should have made this all better. I don’t think so!” I really never wanted this to come out, because I know it will cause a lot of problems with a lot of people, but my husband has known about it for years, he just assumed I was dating this guy at the time so he let it go, but just recently the subject came up again because I do have sex issues due to it. I didn’t realize my husband thought I had dated the guy. When I told him I didn’t, all hell broke lose:( Please ease my mind. Is this considered rape or not? Thanks in advance.

I don’t really know if this counts as sexual assault, but I remember back when I was in grade school, maybe in 1st grade, my mom was friend’s with my teacher. She would work occasionally after school and wouldn’t be able to pick me up, so I would go home with my teacher ( who was a lady) and her two sons. I enjoyed hanging out with them after school and everything, but one day I remember I was really tired and wanted to sleep. The mom told me I could lie down on her bed and i remember little flashbacks of her two sons who were botg my age, touching me. As a 7 year old, I had no shape of breasts yet, but I remember my shirt was lifted and they were grabbing me there. That’s all I remember, I don’t remember whether they touched me in other areas as well, or what exactly I did afterwards. 
Does this count as sexual assault? I now go to high school with one of the guys, and every time I see him I tense up, like I have a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve never told anyone about this either because I never really considered it an assault until now..

I am now 24, married and have an 18 month old daughter. When I was about 20 years old in college I went out for a night drinking with my friends. I got pretty intoxicated and ended up getting separated from my friends. I ran into a work friend who brought me back to his house that was really close by. I remember being in his bathroom and remember a guy (maybe two of them) coming in and touching me very inappropriately, I remember getting up and stumbling out the door to get myself out of that house. Miraculously after I walked out I ran into my friends and blacked out once I knew I was safe. I never told anyone because I didn’t really have any information to give them. I was so drunk that I can’t remember the faces. Now I am in the military and I go to sexual assult classes that are mandatory for everyone to attend and they always bring up flashbacks. Should I tell my husband? I’m afraid of what he might think? Especially because I really don’t have any information to tell him (who it was, what actually happened to me). What is your advice?

My daughter was recently raped. She thinks her drink was drugged. She was on vacation and did not get a rape test. She did not know him and did not consent. She won’t talk about it or deal with it. She does not remember anything. Thank God she is not pregnant and all tests for transmitted diseases are negative. How can I get her to go to counseling. She said she is not ready. She will be leaving for college in 3 months. Very concerned mom.

Should I leave my boyfriend who may have molested my autistic 15 year old daughter?

I was sexually assaulted over a year ago and when I went to the police, they did nothing but find reasons to blame me. I was both intoxicated and asleep when I was raped. This past month its been on my mind a lot. I’m on continuous birth control for health reasons and being raped is constantly on my mind. When it is on my mind, my vagina begins to bleed. Is that normal? It makes the stress worse, I’m 23 now and i’d like to be able to move on, have a relationship, heal, and not constantly have this on my mind.

I’m not really sure where to start. I’m feeling guilty about a situation with my ex. In July I was dating my now husband. I decided to go to my ex’s house to play some video games (bad idea I know but we wanted to stay friends). Anyway I got to his house and we started watching a movie. He kept trying to kiss and make out with me but I kept pushing him away and telling him no. That continued for a while until I felt like passing out. I drifted off for a bit and I woke up to my pants and underwear around my knees and him behind me. I don’t know why I didn’t jump up and yell at him but I didn’t. I figured if I just pretended I was asleep he would stop or maybe I could just make it go away. He was never the kind of guy to take no for an answer. Maybe I misunderstood him or something. Maybe he thought I was awake and that I wanted it even though I told him “No. I have a boyfriend,” the whole time. I’m not really sure why I’m writing I’m just confused. Was everything my fault? Was he innocent and I was the bad guy? I can’t stop thinking about it…please help. I was also molested for a few years by my uncle when I was younger so had issues with guys for a long time and this whole thing just made it worse. I’m reminded of both instances every time my husband and I get intimate and, whenever I’m around older people…

In high school, I was at a basketball game. A boy that had graduated before me by a few years was there. He had some sort of mental illness and could commonly be found at the high school’s many sporting events. I was standing by the snack counter when he came up and gave me a hug, as he randomly did to strangers. A few minutes later, he came back and held my hand, pulling me away. I walked with him for a minute or two and ended up around the corner by the lockers. He turned me around and proceeded to hug me from behind for a few minutes. I was extremely uncomfortable. Finally, a girl who had seen him walk away with me came over and called my name, causing him to release me.

Is this considered a sexual assault? He did nothing but hug me, and he had a mental illness, so I’m not sure if he knew what he was doing. I’ve never told anyone, but to this day it still makes me extremely uncomfortable. To the point that I’m scared of his brothers who look just like him.
I just want to clarify for myself as to whether or not this was any kind of sexual assault. Thank you.

I am 21 years old today. I have a 5 year old little girl born out of a rape by my step-father. I have been around this man since I was 2 years old. I started getting abused at 11 when I started noticing the abuse. I tried telling my mother but she didn’t believe me and she stayed married to the Man. My current situation is I have moved away with my kids with a man I only been knowing for a year now I know it sounds crazy but out of my whole life I never had this support and guidance from anyone. It’s like he’s my angel, my angel god sent him to m.  I tired reaching out to the proctors and the detectives who took my case but there haven’t reach out to me.  I and very depressed and concerned and I can’t carry on until this gets taken care of. Where do I start if the county it happened in isn’t replying? I made a statement and talked to the officers who took my case.  I feel like he messed up in his investigation so he is avoiding me. What should I do, isn’t there a statute of limitation? My daughter is 5 years old what can I do?

(She was 15 during the relationship and I was 19) however she lied and told me she was 16.
 

Additional comments:
I just hate looking at myself Im nothing im a turned out prison whore and the other inmates just make fun of me this is so hard to do I am ashamed of the words
 

I’m wondering if I should speak out against my place of work for letting the man get away. He sexually assaulted me, an employee, and who knows what he could have done to any number of children in the area if he’d had the chance? I believe my supervisors should have immediately called the police and had the man arrested and charged.

I’m very confused. Thank you for your support.
 

I am now sat at my desk and feel alone and violated. How dare he help himself? I have only ever been with my 3 boyfriends and I have never ever had even a random kiss with anyone. I am very protective of my body. I feel absolutely violated, and I’m devastated and I have no idea what to do about it. I can’t believe it.
 

I stayed awake but pretended to be asleep, because, at this point, I wasn’t sure what was going on. I was still really tired and wasn’t sure if I had just dreamed it or what. He kept shining the light by the bed, I guess to see if I was asleep. Later on, he poked my leg, I’m assuming to see if I was awake or not. I pretended to be asleep. He poked me a few more times, and then slowly lifted the blanket. He groped my butt and I could feel that he was pleasuring himself. I was frozen, and still tired, wondering if it was real or not. I know I should have told him to stop, but at the time I really didn’t know what to do. So I layed there and pretended to be asleep.

Basically, I guess I’m just needing some advice on what to do, if anything at all.